and we're off

sparrow is learning so fast that i definitely cannot keep up on the blogging. today was the absolute cutest: i taught her where her belly button is (and mine.) then i would say, "where's sparrow's belly button?" and she would faithfully point inwards... but to her chest, as if her belly button were right in between her nipples, haha, i know that one's not gonna last long, so i got it on video even though i got kind of a crappy perspective since she couldn't know the camera was there.

i can definitely see her will emerging more and more as she is learning to whine and to create a reaction with loud crying. luckily i'm the one that appreciates her cuteness the most, so i am also best able to deal with the annoying parts of her human nature!

tomorrow we will be flying away to ireland and germany and london, and i have lots and lots of wonderings on how it's gonna be with this little insatiable one... but we are off, no doubt, and ready for the adventure! oh, God dropped off on my doorstep today an anonymous envelope with cash and a note that said, "spending money for ireland--have fun!" i am always blown away. thanks to whomever let Him speak such a generous thing into your heart! more later, my head isn't on straight right now. sleeeeeep!!!

here's a shot of packing. she broke the suitcase playing in it like this...

3 cute things

one is from a month or so ago, when she was sleeping next to me during a nap, i believe. she usually sleeps on her tummy with her feet tucked in under her, but she ended up on her back for some reason. the whole time we were sleeping, i was vaguely aware that her little legs were frequently up in the air and absently rotating. when i thought about it later, it made me laugh so much. she's used to having her knees up under her tummy and her legs were trying to find their usual resting point, but were encountering nothing. she reminded me of a bug stranded on its back... or a possum? (why a possum? do they lie on their backs or something? i don't remember. oh yes, i think they play dead.)

the other two are from today:

we wash her hands every night before bed. we put a dab of soap in her hands and then rub them together the whole time we are singing the abc song. tonight i was super out of it and too tired to get on the soap and singing train right away. i just stood there for a minute and let her run her hands under the water. when i snapped to it, i realized she was rubbing her hands together by herself, and making attempted singing noises! oh my goodness, i practically started crying, it was the sweetest (and smartest!) thing she could have done. she remembers and loves her bedtime routine, and it's so flattering because i created it!

during our reading of goodnight moon, i made the "young mouse" sound (squeaky), and she tried to copy me! but it came out as clicking. it's hard to describe sounds and how they are made, but believe me that it was another heartbreaking moment.

it was dang funny today when she ate a piece of gum off the floor while thomas and i were letting her cruise happily around the office as we tried to fix the internet. we weren't paying that much attention to her; she was loudly and happily crinkling a blue piece of acetate that thomas had given her. suddenly, she began to cry, and the next thing i noticed was the strange minty smell. for a minute i thought she somehow swallowed something crazy like mouthwash. but then i saw a bitten-into piece of hard square gum on the floor and understood. she was looking up at us with such confusion in her eyes and crying, like, "Why? why does it taste like this?" hahahahahaa, poor baby! definitely the most potently flavorful thing she's ever found on the floor. we had to feed her yogurt to get the taste out.

yesterday sparrow got off the bed w/out any help for the 1st time. thomas has been trying to teach her to go "feet first" (instead of diving with her face) for weeks now. today she started doing "fish face" all by herself, too. i don't know if she saw it anywhere; i think she is just exploring what she can do with her mouth. holly l. came over today with her samuel and baby "hopelino," as i like to call her. it was really funny to watch sparrow being the big bully baby (to hope) instead of the one getting picked on. but i guess samuel was picking on her. she skipped her afternoon nap and was therefore being tired and grumpy for a lot of the day. she was bringing me to my wits' end, so to speak. but i have noticed that i need to watch the way i talk to her/about her, poor thing, she is a baby, and words have such power. she is so sweet, so darling. with a human nature, yes, willful, but a daughter of the King. i want to make sure i imbue her with that identity and don't get frustrated when she needs to be held a little more or doesn't want to sit in her high chair. she has been biting my nipples almost every time she nurses and i don't know how to deal with it, because it's right when she's falling asleep. i can't very well flick her then, unless, i want her to wake up again! but ow, ow, ow, ow.

she is amazing at playing peekaboo now; i might have mentioned that. yesterday she was putting two little tea packs over her eyes and peeking out behind them, while may and i were at the laundromat. i take her "cadillac cruiser" when i go there and she happily toddles to the washers and dryers to look at the spinny clothes, bumping into everyone's feet in the meanwhile.

the night before that, when i put her down to bed, she was coherent enough to say "wu-wu," and 5 mins. later she was crying again. i had tons to finish up in the kitchen and couldn't sit and nurse her forever, so i stuck her on my back in the wrap, and she fell asleep on my back while i was clattering pots and pans and unloading the dishwasher, etc.

(hmmm these pics are coming out cut off... wonder why...)

sparrow has had a great couple of weeks. she now says "mama" quite clearly, and knows it's me. thomas was so delighted when he first heard her about four days ago, that he keeps on telling her, "say mama! where's mama?" and even if she doesn't want to say it, she turns her head toward me. thomas is so excited about it, in fact, that he is back to calling me "mom" all the time right when i had weaned him off that... she can also identify her ears, her nose, mama's nose, dada's nose, etc. the other week i was doing a snort for a pig sound, and she tried to say it but it came out, "ggggghh ggghh" instead. so cute!



she is awesome at playing peekaboo and will hide her eyes with anything from a pair of pants that she puts over her head to a pillow, or even a small lid. she hides daddy's face with a pillow or blanket, then tears it away, and is so excited and squealy when she sees that he is still there. it's so fun to watch her figure out spatial relationships. she is having lots of fun in her pack-and-play with its mesh walls.

i think i pick up and wash all the things from the measuring-cup drawer about 5-7 times per day. she pulls the spoons and cups and beaters out of there and flings them on the floor while i cook or wash dishes. i now also have to regularly check the trashcan to make sure she hasn't thrown any of them in there. (after i caught her in the act a few times.)

she has a little sound she makes when she wants something, esp food: "hheh, heh," urgently. she has taken on a bit of a bothersome habit of wanting to eat our food more than she wants to eat hers, so i can't really eat at the same time as her anymore. today i had to make her a sandwich that looked like our sandwiches, but had only baby-friendly foods in it, then i had to pretend i was eating at it, and when she made the "heh heh" sound i would give her a bite, and that is how she ate her lunch. quite effective. today was also the day that she really did a recognizable "more" sign that didn't come out as merely clapping her hands. naomi or i would say "more? do you want more?" and she would subsequently point with one into her other hand. it is so amazing to watch all this stuff develop, and it being so amazing to me, means that i am the one (and thomas too) that is most able to deal with her squirminess and willfulness that is quickly growing. maybe we have to wait on the discipline thing til after she's a year old, as we haven't really researched it as much as we want, and besides, we are not quite on the same page about it yet.

she is IN LOVE with her daddy. cries when he goes to work, sometimes even when he just leaves the room. gives the biggest, happiest smile whenever she sees him and starts turbo-crawling toward him, sticks her hand under the bathroom door in the morning when she knows he's in there... they are so adorable together. she says "dada?" and looks around the car expectantly if i put her in her car seat and tell her we're going home to see daddy. on thomas' birthday (2 days ago) she gave us both kisses on the lips... well, she touched her lips to ours, which was the most precious gift... ah. the kiss-sound synching with the motion will soon follow, i am sure.

it has been cold for at least 2 weeks now. but we did have a few warm days, and took advantage by going to the beach, where sparrow proceeded to eat lots of sand and had the best time playing in the sun.

our latest nickname for her is "haferflocken stachelschwein," which means "oatmeal porcupine." random, but it sounds so good together!

hot hat

sparrow is amazing at her "hat" sign now, and she also knows where her ears are! touches them when we ask her where they are. so sweet. today she made me laugh by misinterpreting a word. i was drinking tea or eating something hot, and when sparrow reached out for it, i said, "nooo, HOT." at which point she started patting her head with the "hat" sign!

we all did a family outing to the laundromat, and thomas was great in taking care of her the whole time. eventually he took her next door to mojo's to get some tea, and a few minutes later, he came running back with her, and the cup of tea, and he said, "help me love! i'm sorry, she grabbed the sugar packet!" i looked at baby, who was happily munching, and in her hand was a half-eaten packet of c&h white refined cane sugar!! nooooooo! i tried to pry her mouth open and get out the sugar, but it was already dissolved, and i couldn't even get the paper out! she was sooooooo pleased! she had another packet in her other hand, and she was very sad indeed when we took them away. that was her very first taste of processed sugar, and it will be her last for a very, very long time. i am already seeing the ill effects; tonight she refused to eat her kale and porridge! grrr...

i am so pleased with how our bedtime routine is coming along: first i take her into the bathroom to wash her face and hands; she loves washing her hands, but not her face. then we go turn on her german lullabies cd. then, for the past few days, she's been noticing her goodnight moon book on the shelf and making her distinct "i want that" grunting sounds. so i let her grab it and take her in the closet/playroom to chenge her diaper. put on lots of the herbal salve stuff every night, and rashes stay far far away. then put on a clean onesie or pj's, brush her teeth, (for about 7 seconds because she won't let me), and then i set her on my lap with the book and we read it once through. i point to the objects as i say them, and she is quite intent at listening, also pointing out things she likes. she especially loves the "two little kittens." she begins to whine when i put the book down, but then i say, "ok, turn the light off!" and she knows exactly what i mean. she goes straight for the light switch and pushes/pulls on it until it turns off, (thomas taught her this a few weeks ago...) and we nurse in the glider til she falls asleep. it is a great time; i try to pray over her while she falls asleep. confession: i often doze off myself.

1st kisses, etc.

valentines day, 2007-- sparrow gives her 1st kisses. here is how it happened:

i have been trying to get sparrow to kiss me since she was about 3 months old. finally, around christmas time, she started getting the kiss-motion down, and she would smack her lips absent-mindedly as she was crawling around. then it turned into an associateion; i would tell her, "say 'mama'!" and she would do a kiss-kiss motion. but she always kissed the air and i was never sure if she was really getting it.

on valentine's day we were all lying on the living room floor and thomas kissed me to show sparrow "kisses." and here is what she does: she crawls right over to thomas, does her kiss-kiss motion, and then plants her open, wet lips, right on his face! it was frickin adorable; i was melting! and not at all jealous that after all that good training, her 1st real kisses were given to her daddy. she is pretty much head over heels for him anyway... in fact, last night, the first time i have heard her talk in her sleep, she sighed, "dada" in such a heartbreakingly sweet voice that i could NOT be bummed that she was in our bed between us and (i knew) ready for a long night of nursing on me, pushing me little by little into uncomfortable positions in the corner as she always does when she snacks on cafe mom for extended hours at night. (which is why i now always nurse her down in a rocking chair first and then put her in her own bed for at least the 1st half of the night.) i started laughing after the "dada" sleeptalk, and remembered that it is worth it to be tired, to get to experience this little creature's every day amazingness. tired doesn't even feel like it used to, because it is laced with the giddy energy of new life emanating from her and affecting me through osmosis or something. it's the Lord.

but back to valentine's day, isn't it funny in general how having kids makes you WAY more into holidays? i mean, for the entire month of december, i would belt out christmas carols to sparrow every time we were in the car; i NEVER do that! and i used to rail and rant on about how horrible valentines day is: cheesy, kitschy, red and pink don't look good together, marketing holiday invented by hallmark, hoochie high schoolers with too much lipliner walking around with enormous balloon-boquets and teddy bears that wouldn't even fit in my car. those teddy bears are the hugest knick-knacks EVER! i'd like to interview girls that have received those tokens of "love" and see where their teddy bears ended up. i mean, what do you DO with a heart-covered, synthetic, animal-shaped cushion that is half the size of your living room? it has absolutely no function in this world! plus it's ugly. absolute waste of energy, labor, and money. eventually you are probably so annoyed by it that you give/ throw it away and are subsequently eaten by nagging guilt for the rest of your days because you got rid of a sweetly-intentioned gift.

all this to say, that yes, i was cynical about it, (and the teddy-bear part i (obviously) still think is just plain STUPID) but this year, i had changed. i was making chocolate-covered strawberries, shortcake, and chocolate hearts and initials, for crying outloud; and was excited to go buy some champagne and red-orange daisies for my husband. CORNY! what had gotten into me? last year, though we were already married, we certainly hadn't planned to do anything! (we did end up going to dinner, but that's because someone slipped a $70.00 gift certificate under our door!!) i swear, it's the baby's influence. she is just so --FUN, and sweet, and makes you want to celebrate--anything.