full heart

yesterday we watched a movie as a family, something we rarely do because i don't like to get my children too inundated with movie images in the first place, and secondly because there is so little of quality out there that my children can also handle suspense-wise. they are innocent, and that is cool. i don't want to rush too fast to desensitize them through movies. so yes, they are finnicky (seriously? did i spell that wrong, or are you telling me that word is not in the dictionary yet?) about suspense. but one of the things that i have noticed that they can stomach well is victorian-era mini dramas! i love these kinds of movies. they move slowly. they are not nasty or gory (usually). lots for me to enjoy, and the girls are just happy to watch something. i am so grateful for that. they may prefer to watch go diego go, but when it comes down to it they like just getting to watch any movie at all. and my husband--have i told you about my husband? he can sit and enjoy them too! as much as he likes getting dirty in the yard and working on motorcycles, i love that he will watch a british mini series with me. so Cranford it was last night, and if you have never seen it, do make a point of doing so. it is very funny and touching. and it has a sequel!

my heart has been so full with all the blessings in my life. this is such a good season, i am excited  for every day. my three little ones are thriving and i get to be with them all the time. i am learning more and more about how to be a good parent. and we are standing at the brink of a summer in which we have no idea what we are going to do for income. it is the hugest opportunity we have had yet, to jump off the diving board and start something amazing!

yesterday i realized once again, that i need to write more often, just about the little things we are doing. i started this blog as a journal for my children and that is what it must remain. we have this amazing life! we live in the middle of the neighborhood where i grew up, which makes for a lot of crazy nostalgia/deja vu every time i go outside. i am more aware of the shifting of the tides of life than i ever was before. every time we pass certain houses in the neighborhood i am flooded with memories, mixed with a little longing for the people and times that used to be found there. some of the people are still there, like lighthouses, havens from the time march that is overtaking us all. my children are the ones who are young now. they are the ones making memories they will look back on just like this. having them here is such a comfort and such a serious jolt at the same time.

today we had a "memorial day" bbq (2 days early) with grahams, tuckers, and schmidt's at emi and jonathan's. lauren came too! the children ran and played outside (safe, enclosed yard... maybe i should take them to india to get some recklessness into them...) with their friends. it was nice for sparrow to have some bonding time with bekah. and elizabeth (age 12) is such a delight, to help them in their games and be a general care taker. she truly delights in the younger children; it is so refreshing to watch. i made panna cotta! and then we had to conceal it from the children so the adults could savor it. =) the children can have a bit of cheap ice cream. ice cream on a cone is about the pinnacle of happiness for them right now.

i have been feeling that our life is lacking in ministry/service to the outside world. i want to teach my children to serve. i know this begins at home, but i will keep looking out for opportunities to get them out of the comfort zone of safe american christianity. i want them to live the childhood i had in mexico in a way. but that is just not going to be. another realization i have to come to terms with. their life is just going to be a different story. but that doesn't mean it won't be adventuresome and good. aspects of it will be better. i would like to start a study on nancy campbell's "the power of motherhood" in my home for women in catalina. that would be a good place to start. a prayer meeting in our home would also be a good place. Lord, help me to be a bold, real, lady filled with the power of God! abandoned to Him. tomorrow we are trying a new church--in catalina! i am sooooo excited, the website looks good. we have been here for a year and have not found a home church. tucson is spiritually really hard ground. i pray that God has something for us soon, and nearby. i don't think we ourselves are meant to be church planters. ...at least not yet.

goodnight--i am supposed to go to bed at ten nowadays! a new resolution i made in order to be a better mother. it really does help me to be so much more focused and patient. it's been a hard road for me in that regard. but God always gives fresh ideas.