Saturday, July 1, 2017

The Funnies - April, May, June 2017

Sparrow is 11, Golden is 8, Silas is 6, Pippa is 5, and Silver is 2.

Silver, making a deep inhale, her nose all wrinkled up, whispers loudly, "I smell my boogies." -April 4

Silver took off her diaper and smelled it.
Me: "Does it smell like pee?"
Silver: "No. I smell Easter." -Apr. 4

Silver, pointing to her belly button: "I have a boob. I'm going to have a baby brother." -Apr. 4

Silver, hearing Blaise cry for nursing this morning: "She's grumpy." -Apr. 10

G: "Silver, what sound does a cat make?"
Silver: "Mau."
G: "What sound does a cow make?"
Silver: "Moose."
G: "What sound does a chicken make?"
Silver: "...Sound." -Apr. 8

"Now she's all nice and cuppaful." (comfortable.) -Silver, Apr. 19

Found myself saying, "That diaper doesn't want a straw in its butt." -Apr. 26

"If we drank one or two cups of wine, we would get drunk. Cause we're young and impressionable." -Sparrow, Apr. 26

Motherhood has forever ruined the word "blowout." It makes me laugh when I see it on store signs. Every mom reads it and thinks only "CRAZY POOP EXPLOSION." -Apr. 27

Sparrow (11): "I like little kids' history. But nowadays all I read is--war, maybe some peace here and there, ships, an occasional exploding building, treason, battle, sneaking, people named Wolfgang--I mean, every chapter is the same!" -May 10

Me: what are you playing with?
Silver: going outside.
Me: ok, but we'll need to get some clothes on you first.
Silver: No! I want to play with naked mole rat club! -May 17

Things the Greeks found to be the most important in the world, according to Sparrow: "Love, wine, wisdom, war, blackness and crafting, thunderbolts, lightning, mothers, home, and hearth." -May 18

Silver, after Sparrow had set her up on the tree stump and gotten her safely down again: "Whew! That was a close one!" -May 25

Sparrow, explaining themes from Fiddler on the Roof:
"The problem with the 3 guys is:
One of them is poor,
One of them doesn't care about tradition,
and one of them...
is ugly." -May 28

Silver: "Jesus put lotion on my feet this morning." -May 29

Silver: "I came alive this morning." -May 29

Golden: "Why do we have to go to Costco?
Me: "Cause we're out of a bunch of staples. Like chicken. And honey."
Golden: "And staples." -June 3

We were at the soccer field cheering on Silas in his game: "Go, Roadrunners!"
Silver, catching on, shouts, "Go, Naked Mole Rats!" -June 3

Me, to Silver, regarding Blaise's lower parts:
"It's not gross. He is a boy and he has a penis."
Silver: "Yeah, it's his BEANS." -June 8

I was in bed with a crick in the neck.
Pippa (5) approaches wide-eyed and says, "Mom, how do crickets get in your neck?" -June 9

Silas, giving a narration for history:
"Marco Polo, and some other people, like Nicolo and stuff, traveled to a far off country for TWENTY years. And when they came back, NOBODY knew them. Cause their clothes were all twisted, and swollen." -June 13

Silver calls the baby wrap "the wrapper." -all the time.

Sparrow: "That's illegal."
Silver: "No, that's not an eagle, it's a BIRD." -June 15

My parenting skills seriously deteriorate with stress:
"Like don't hit people in the face and stuff." -June 17

Silver, coming up to me with a little weed covered in someone's old hair, holding it as delicately as a baby bird:
"I got this in Germany. Jesus gave it to me. And God made it and then I found it." -June 15

Silver: "Where's God?"
Me: "He's with you."
Silver: "No, he's not. He was in the house. And he was cleaning up." -June 25

Me: "Where are your shoes?"
Silver: "I dunno, they're in my shadow." -June 25

Silver: "Daddy cut a chip in half-ses. and then the ants were coloring all over it." (crawling.) -June 25

Random notes from 11pm yesterday...
*Silas is CHIPPER and telling me how herring farts sound like Russian submarines. 
*I was just about to go crazy and whip up a pie crust for quiche tomorrow morning, when I realized tomorrow is oatmeal day. WHEW! That's why I have a schedule, REMEMBER? 
*I hate it when I need a flashlight to find a flashlight. ðŸ˜†
-June 27

"Mom, I'm a nursing child." -Silver, June 30

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