a joy they will know

Today marked 14 years since my mother's arrival in heaven. Now here they are, her treasures, her CROWN, her little wriggly, laugh-outloud, full-of-questions, bursting-with-energy grandchildren: how will they know her? They cannot know the warmth of her smile, the sound of her singing, the accent she would use to encourage them, the feel of her sun-kissed arms. But they will know her. Her legacy. Her story. Her words. We will talk about her. We will look forward to seeing her someday. We will remember how much of her is in me, in them. We will keep her close.

I chose to celebrate her life by simply being joyful today. As she was! Ready to smile, filled with the joy of the Lord. We lit a candle in her memory at every meal, and at dinner time we sang. Songs she loved, and with her German accent!

All too often I default to being on edge, irritated. Today, remembering the fragility of life and the importance of a mother's impact, it was a little easier to stop and think--wait, why am i NOT smiling? is there any reason not to smile? So I smiled in her honor all the day. My children seemed more sweet to me, my patience stretched further, and I put on my garments of praise. To do what God has commanded, I honor my mother. By being the best mother I can be, being sanctified daily by Him, our mutual Father, the Father she loved.