Monday, January 4, 2016

Unexercised and Unshowered

You know, for somebody who wakes up early and spends the morning hours working, and doesn't turn her attentions to home and family until 9:30AM and then is starting from scratch...

And puts things like "exercise" and "shower" on her to-do lists...

And then finds herself at 3PM still unexercised and unshowered, perhaps I should just lower my expectations.

Maybe my to-do lists should say things like "brush teeth." And "get out of pajamas." Then little victories might snowball into great ones.

You might tell me "get up earlier."
"Just exercise first thing in the morning."
"For God's sake, give yourself a break and get some help."

You get up earlier. You do it first thing in the morning. You get some help. I am more than willing to hire a housekeeper... after we get all our bills covered. I've noticed that if I leave the work,the work that pays actual money, for any later than first thing in the morning, it doesn't get done. Too many variables. And by variables I mean children.

"Can't your husband help?"

No. He can't.

It's really all on me. I just don't know how to do it all. It's more than one person can humanly do.
Bear the children
take care of the children
feed the children
educate the children
take care of the house management
take care of bills
and take care of self.

Too much. I quit. Stuff is gonna be dirty, y'all.
I am not doing it all. I am not going to be on time. I am not going to apologize. Y'all can ask me to be on time when you come over and help me get my stuff done. When you babysit my five children. Sure! Ok, ok, enough with the cynicism. That's enough. In 2016, I'm going to continue planting and cultivating my little seeds:

My children are the most amazing people on the planet.
We are called to be a sign and a wonder.
We are here to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
He loves us.
I am a writer.
My words have the power of life.
I can do this.

So scratch what I said about not being able to do it. I mean, I can't do it all, not all THAT. But I can do what's MOST important.
And that includes breathing.
And laughing.
And changing the world.
Hang the fact that there's dust under the bed and I haven't unpacked from the weekend trip.

I taught Golden a math lesson IN BED today. Cause we can. Cause it's cold.
I took care of the babies and fed everyone twice.
And did my morning work.
I did not do it all with style and grace but some of it did come off well. I never thought I'd say this. EVER. But math was the funnest part of my day.

Then I--FINALLY!--got in the shower and tested God in His Malachi 3 promise. I think I shouted til I was hoarse. So we'll see what happens with that. I also asked Him to prevent me from hitting actual insanity. And prayed for some people who are dear to me.

Now off to finish making the dinner. And finish the home school. And wash the breakfast dishes.

I love my life!

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