(hmmm these pics are coming out cut off... wonder why...)

sparrow has had a great couple of weeks. she now says "mama" quite clearly, and knows it's me. thomas was so delighted when he first heard her about four days ago, that he keeps on telling her, "say mama! where's mama?" and even if she doesn't want to say it, she turns her head toward me. thomas is so excited about it, in fact, that he is back to calling me "mom" all the time right when i had weaned him off that... she can also identify her ears, her nose, mama's nose, dada's nose, etc. the other week i was doing a snort for a pig sound, and she tried to say it but it came out, "ggggghh ggghh" instead. so cute!



she is awesome at playing peekaboo and will hide her eyes with anything from a pair of pants that she puts over her head to a pillow, or even a small lid. she hides daddy's face with a pillow or blanket, then tears it away, and is so excited and squealy when she sees that he is still there. it's so fun to watch her figure out spatial relationships. she is having lots of fun in her pack-and-play with its mesh walls.

i think i pick up and wash all the things from the measuring-cup drawer about 5-7 times per day. she pulls the spoons and cups and beaters out of there and flings them on the floor while i cook or wash dishes. i now also have to regularly check the trashcan to make sure she hasn't thrown any of them in there. (after i caught her in the act a few times.)

she has a little sound she makes when she wants something, esp food: "hheh, heh," urgently. she has taken on a bit of a bothersome habit of wanting to eat our food more than she wants to eat hers, so i can't really eat at the same time as her anymore. today i had to make her a sandwich that looked like our sandwiches, but had only baby-friendly foods in it, then i had to pretend i was eating at it, and when she made the "heh heh" sound i would give her a bite, and that is how she ate her lunch. quite effective. today was also the day that she really did a recognizable "more" sign that didn't come out as merely clapping her hands. naomi or i would say "more? do you want more?" and she would subsequently point with one into her other hand. it is so amazing to watch all this stuff develop, and it being so amazing to me, means that i am the one (and thomas too) that is most able to deal with her squirminess and willfulness that is quickly growing. maybe we have to wait on the discipline thing til after she's a year old, as we haven't really researched it as much as we want, and besides, we are not quite on the same page about it yet.

she is IN LOVE with her daddy. cries when he goes to work, sometimes even when he just leaves the room. gives the biggest, happiest smile whenever she sees him and starts turbo-crawling toward him, sticks her hand under the bathroom door in the morning when she knows he's in there... they are so adorable together. she says "dada?" and looks around the car expectantly if i put her in her car seat and tell her we're going home to see daddy. on thomas' birthday (2 days ago) she gave us both kisses on the lips... well, she touched her lips to ours, which was the most precious gift... ah. the kiss-sound synching with the motion will soon follow, i am sure.

it has been cold for at least 2 weeks now. but we did have a few warm days, and took advantage by going to the beach, where sparrow proceeded to eat lots of sand and had the best time playing in the sun.

our latest nickname for her is "haferflocken stachelschwein," which means "oatmeal porcupine." random, but it sounds so good together!

hot hat

sparrow is amazing at her "hat" sign now, and she also knows where her ears are! touches them when we ask her where they are. so sweet. today she made me laugh by misinterpreting a word. i was drinking tea or eating something hot, and when sparrow reached out for it, i said, "nooo, HOT." at which point she started patting her head with the "hat" sign!

we all did a family outing to the laundromat, and thomas was great in taking care of her the whole time. eventually he took her next door to mojo's to get some tea, and a few minutes later, he came running back with her, and the cup of tea, and he said, "help me love! i'm sorry, she grabbed the sugar packet!" i looked at baby, who was happily munching, and in her hand was a half-eaten packet of c&h white refined cane sugar!! nooooooo! i tried to pry her mouth open and get out the sugar, but it was already dissolved, and i couldn't even get the paper out! she was sooooooo pleased! she had another packet in her other hand, and she was very sad indeed when we took them away. that was her very first taste of processed sugar, and it will be her last for a very, very long time. i am already seeing the ill effects; tonight she refused to eat her kale and porridge! grrr...

i am so pleased with how our bedtime routine is coming along: first i take her into the bathroom to wash her face and hands; she loves washing her hands, but not her face. then we go turn on her german lullabies cd. then, for the past few days, she's been noticing her goodnight moon book on the shelf and making her distinct "i want that" grunting sounds. so i let her grab it and take her in the closet/playroom to chenge her diaper. put on lots of the herbal salve stuff every night, and rashes stay far far away. then put on a clean onesie or pj's, brush her teeth, (for about 7 seconds because she won't let me), and then i set her on my lap with the book and we read it once through. i point to the objects as i say them, and she is quite intent at listening, also pointing out things she likes. she especially loves the "two little kittens." she begins to whine when i put the book down, but then i say, "ok, turn the light off!" and she knows exactly what i mean. she goes straight for the light switch and pushes/pulls on it until it turns off, (thomas taught her this a few weeks ago...) and we nurse in the glider til she falls asleep. it is a great time; i try to pray over her while she falls asleep. confession: i often doze off myself.

1st kisses, etc.

valentines day, 2007-- sparrow gives her 1st kisses. here is how it happened:

i have been trying to get sparrow to kiss me since she was about 3 months old. finally, around christmas time, she started getting the kiss-motion down, and she would smack her lips absent-mindedly as she was crawling around. then it turned into an associateion; i would tell her, "say 'mama'!" and she would do a kiss-kiss motion. but she always kissed the air and i was never sure if she was really getting it.

on valentine's day we were all lying on the living room floor and thomas kissed me to show sparrow "kisses." and here is what she does: she crawls right over to thomas, does her kiss-kiss motion, and then plants her open, wet lips, right on his face! it was frickin adorable; i was melting! and not at all jealous that after all that good training, her 1st real kisses were given to her daddy. she is pretty much head over heels for him anyway... in fact, last night, the first time i have heard her talk in her sleep, she sighed, "dada" in such a heartbreakingly sweet voice that i could NOT be bummed that she was in our bed between us and (i knew) ready for a long night of nursing on me, pushing me little by little into uncomfortable positions in the corner as she always does when she snacks on cafe mom for extended hours at night. (which is why i now always nurse her down in a rocking chair first and then put her in her own bed for at least the 1st half of the night.) i started laughing after the "dada" sleeptalk, and remembered that it is worth it to be tired, to get to experience this little creature's every day amazingness. tired doesn't even feel like it used to, because it is laced with the giddy energy of new life emanating from her and affecting me through osmosis or something. it's the Lord.

but back to valentine's day, isn't it funny in general how having kids makes you WAY more into holidays? i mean, for the entire month of december, i would belt out christmas carols to sparrow every time we were in the car; i NEVER do that! and i used to rail and rant on about how horrible valentines day is: cheesy, kitschy, red and pink don't look good together, marketing holiday invented by hallmark, hoochie high schoolers with too much lipliner walking around with enormous balloon-boquets and teddy bears that wouldn't even fit in my car. those teddy bears are the hugest knick-knacks EVER! i'd like to interview girls that have received those tokens of "love" and see where their teddy bears ended up. i mean, what do you DO with a heart-covered, synthetic, animal-shaped cushion that is half the size of your living room? it has absolutely no function in this world! plus it's ugly. absolute waste of energy, labor, and money. eventually you are probably so annoyed by it that you give/ throw it away and are subsequently eaten by nagging guilt for the rest of your days because you got rid of a sweetly-intentioned gift.

all this to say, that yes, i was cynical about it, (and the teddy-bear part i (obviously) still think is just plain STUPID) but this year, i had changed. i was making chocolate-covered strawberries, shortcake, and chocolate hearts and initials, for crying outloud; and was excited to go buy some champagne and red-orange daisies for my husband. CORNY! what had gotten into me? last year, though we were already married, we certainly hadn't planned to do anything! (we did end up going to dinner, but that's because someone slipped a $70.00 gift certificate under our door!!) i swear, it's the baby's influence. she is just so --FUN, and sweet, and makes you want to celebrate--anything.

people believe what they want to believe

just because sparrow has short hair people assume she's a boy. even if she has a pink dress on she gets "hey buddy!" or i get, "how old is he?" frequently i try carrying on the conversation without revealing her actual gender because i am either tired of correcting people or i want to spare them the embarrassment. so i tiptoe around my wording, which gets rather interesting and challenging, and the longer the naive questioner wants to talk, the more creative i have to be once i have decided to try to avoid the confrontation. otherwise it just becomes more embarrassing for both of us when i finally reveal, either in a flustered confession, or an accidental pronoun slip, that it is, in fact, a girl. now i have started putting barrettes in her hair to make it even more obvious so i don't get myself into these awkward situations. but it's no use. this, from men on two separate occasions(!): "what's in his hair?"

why is she so hilarious

so not only did i get to discover this morning that my child has the oddest way of eating carrots conceivable to man, but today was also the first time that she tried to feed me her buggies... sigh. (more on the carrots in a second.) she has been recently getting into that cutest of mannerisms where she picks things up with her little pincers and offers them to other people. mostly it's little pieces of dirt she finds on the floor or even imaginary pieces of anything. naomi termed it "finding a dirt." it's just too precious how she looks at you with these big excited eyes and shortness of breath as she stretches out her arm to show you the treasure she has in her little fingers. anyway, she has also been getting a lot better about letting us get her buggies out of her nose. we just try to explain what we're doing and then if we get the buggie, we show it to her just so she knows there is some sort of product; we are not just making this up. today i had to get one while she was playing in the kitchen, and when i showed it to her, she stared at it with interest as she always does, then put her little finger out and got it on her fingertip, stared at it, pinched it, then sincerely held it up toward my mouth as if it were one of her cheerios. aaaah the joys...

so i had to give her some steamed carrot pieces when she woke up from her nap because i was cooking again instead of playing with her. she was on the floor with all the measuring spoons strewn about her again, and i decided to give her the little plate on the floor in front of her and see if she could eat them in a fairly organized fashion. at first she did pick them up and put them in her mouth. then, this happened:



sigh. so much learning in one day. it seems like it comes in clusters. she ALSO learned how to roll a ball to mama today! she pushes it to me, but won't wait for me to push it back cause she's so dang excited to have done it again, that she squeals and crawls over to the ball immediately to bite it and pund on it! then she wants to push it again so i have to scoot back, and thus we make our way around the living room for quite some time...

miscellaneous thoughts

so last wednesday sparrow had a very productive hour with may, who came to watch her so i could take ballet for an hour with thomas. when i came home, not only had she learned to play peekaboo! by squatting behind the table and then popping up, but she could also do the sign for "hat," which i had been trying to teach her since she was 5 months old or something! (that was feb. 9th.)

today i took her to the beach to eat lunch when i got off work. i got all in a bikini and put little shorts on her, but when i stepped out, it was waaaay colder than it looked, and i had to go all the way back up the stairs to the apt. to put pants on her. but we braved the wind and had a good half hour at least, and sparrow had the best time, reaching out urgently to every bird that flew by and every tree in sight. she does this "thank you, santa barbara, and goodnight!" type of wave with her whole arm or both stretched out. she also got her first taste of sand and didn't like it, but i'd rather let her experience it than try to immediately stop her.

she was really into her 'goodninght moon' book tonight, which makes me super happy. i had ordered it online for 2 dollars or something, just because i'm so dang sentimental about that book. i have actually thought about modelling her playroom after it and doing all the paintings myself, like "the three little bears, sitting on chairs," and making the striped curtains and hiring a rabbit-woman to rock in the corner and say hush. j/k about that last part. but anyways, she liked it so much that i actually had to take it away because she wasn't letting me brush her teeth or change her, and when i took it from her, she cried so heartbreakingly with real tears, so sadly and so long that i felt the weight of the world, and thought that i could hardly bear the fact that she will be so heartbroken and more, over so many things. but it really can't be avoided, and all one can do here is hope in the fact that love is stronger than heartache and makes it worth it. and so i hurried up with her bedtime routine and then sat her on my lap and got the book and read it to her and held her in my lap and arms, that precious one, and let her try to turn the pages or imitate my pointing at all the objects as i say them, or eat the book, whatever she wanted, just to make sure she knew: mama loves her.

02-05-07

sparrow last month went from being a punny-munch to a doodlebug. it's in her face. she brings out the nicknamer in me. she went to dr. vic's on the 1st of feb. and surprisingly only weighed 18 lbs.--my back had thought she was a little heavier than that! also, 28 inches tall now. she can flip off light switches (something thomas taught her) and switch objects between hands in order to hang on to them when i am trying to get her arms into or out of sleeves. that i noticed last week and was utterly amazed. today she learned to bbbbbbbb her lips and was also coppying me when i blew air out my nose! perhaps the days of having to fish out her "boogies" are over. though recently she hasn't been minding as much, since we explain to her what we're doing, and she has also discovered that hey--she can get our boogies, too! the other day as she was digging in my nose with such an eager expression on her face, she scratched the inside and made me bleed! but i have become quite tolerant of such pain; she bites my arms and shoulders ALL the time; i have welts all over them! but i know they are love bites and they make me laugh. gotta go to bed. more later. x