The Funnies - July, August, September 2017

Silver is 2 1/2, Pippa is 5, Silas is turning 7, Golden is turning 9

Things always fall into the toilet at the last minute. -July 14

Silver, first thing in the morning, re: Blaise: 

"Mom! Look at his face! ...I'm so proud of you."

Then she sees my wrinkly feet and examines them closely. 

"Mom! I love your feet!" -early July

Silver says funny things in general. She pronounces I's after vowels like i's or y's.

Store: "Stoy."

Cart: "Caw-yt." (one syllable.) (sounds a lot like kite)

Fart: "fight" or "faw-yt."

Silver is too cute right now. It's 7:30 AM and she has woken up and is chatting to me from my bed, where Blaise is also sleeping. She keeps saying things like:

"Mom, Blaise is so fluffy!"

"Mom, I'm so comfortable with Blaise!"

"Mom, he's farting!" 

"Blaise has eyebrows." 

She has really precise anunciation. The other day she called him a "munchkin," & her lips as she so clearly pronounced that word were so cute! -July 14

Me reading aloud about an Irish/English battle: The aliens were beat back.

Golden, suddenly paying attention: There are aliens in this book?!?

Silver: And the baby alien, it's hiding! -July 16
🙈

 Evening reading time with six children... So hard to get through the chapters. -July 16

Silver, pointing to a turtle in a book: "Iss a tooter!" -July 16

Me: Do you wanna go to the park today?
Silver: Yeah. And I want to go to the zoo. I want to go to the zoo and see elephants. And dinosaurs at the zoo.

Their expectations grow exponentially into the fantastical in a matter of seconds! Before you know what happened, you have to TALK THEM DOWN. Welcome to the world of toddler parenting.

Clearly the answer is never to ask a toddler their opinion.  -July 17

I gave Silas a homemade little bowl of trail mix to tide him over for breakfast while I sit here and work.

After a few minutes, he says, "Hmmm... that needs more chocolate chips and what not."

 ...and what not!

-July 18

Pippa: "Why is this cup OLD?"

Me: "I don't know, it's not THAT old!"

Pippa: "Yeah, it's only like... HALF old."

Silas: "Yeah, like 44 years or something." -July 18

I spent a few minutes singing Silver a song I had made up for her, during which she sat there beaming like a queen. When I finished, she said,

"That's creepy and stuff."

Creepy is one of her favorite words right now. -July 19

"I'm a baby ginoceros." -Silver, circa July 20

My children are playing hot potato with a dirty diaper. -July 20

Things I never thought I'd find myself saying:

"I will be serving crepes to people who are wearing underwear."

"JUST say thank you for the hairy cousin!!!"-July 20

Me: So in order to get the unknown by itself, you have to remove the other numbers on that side of the equation by doing the reverse function. So the opposite of times is divide. So divide both sides by 2/3.

Sparrow: I think the opposite of times Is un-times. -July 20

Been listening to the MSG translation. I guess it's some kind of flavor enhancer. -July 25

The other day I referred to erasing as "deleting." Just now I told my daughter we could "edit" her skirt. Aaaaah! #digitalage -July 28

"I wanna play with my toys, but I guess I'll do a puzzle for a few... whiles." -Pippa, July 29

Silver, crying with wide, sad eyes: "I can't jump over the ceiling, Mommy!" -July 29

Me: Are you interested in rock concerts? 

Sparrow: No. But I'm interested in ROCKS!

Me: I love you. 

-August 9

Silver: Gol likes to say 'boinga boinga.'

me: Hm? God?

Silver: No! God can't say anything! He CAN'T TALK! -Aug. 18

Silver, playing with a Playmobil goat early in the morning, called it a "goost." -Aug. 19

Everyone keeps saying we are going to the Scott's house tomorrow. Silver, to Daddy, "Wanna go to God's house?" -Aug. 26

"That popcorn is distusteen!" -Silver, who ate old popcorn  off the floor, Aug. 26

"Can we go to Jane's house now?" -Silver, meaning Jamestown. -Aug. 25

"Mom, there's beads on your lamp. And there's a string hanging up to it." -Silver, Aug. 29

Silas, describing how Silver was asking him for a toy of hers: "And then something happened to my heart, because I felt like I really wanted to get it for her." -late August

Silver: God ate the mustard. And he was folded. -Aug. 31

Silver found a stuffed animal upstairs at Mahnkens house and said, "I'm gonna put this little cutie in my shirt." -Sep. 2

Silver, age 2: I'm not in love. And there was worms in my LIFE. And there's no love out there (pointing toward the window). 
Thomas: Oh yeah? So... Where IS the love? 
Silver: The love is in the movies. -Sept. 7

Pippa: When Silver grows up, she's gonna get a bunch of extra money for helping us do our chores.

Me: Oh yeah? From whom?

Pippa: The king.

Me: Who's the king?

Pippa: Jesus. 

-Sept. 10

Silas, narrating after a reading about Queen Elizabeth: "Well, her mom, and her sister, I think, got cheesin' and died." (meaning treason!) -Sept. 11

Blaise: full teething mode. I feel like I'm the birth doula for his tooth. He's making breathy cow noises right now. -Sept. 13

Golden (age 9), de-pooping the kitty litter: "Sparrow, I am totally grieved about this." -Sept. 18

"Mama, I'm so glad this milk isn't wotten." -Silver, Sep. 22

ME, YOU, ME, YOU, STUMP. 😁 

A card Golden made for her friend Emily. -Sept. 25

Silver, chatting to a man in a parking lot: "We have a house! ...This is my friend Pippa." -Sep. 26

"I looked in the mirror and saw she was beautiful." -Silver , Sept. 28

"Sometimes Daddy brushes my hair, sometimes he cuts my hair, and sometimes he washes my hair." -Silver, Sept. 28 (first haircut happened that day)