pregnancy journal entry 2

1/24/2008 11:49:00 PM :: no more tea!!

boo--i finally decided to quit drinking dr. miller's wonderful beautiful amazing holy tea, as the company was not getting back to me on if it is REALLY safe during pregnancy or not. there is a warning on the package about "cathartic herbs,... "should not be taken while pregnant or breastfeeding..." but i know for a fact that dr. miller himself had said re: the nursing issue: "would you rather feed your baby through clean pipes or dirty pipes?" and everyone i know in the higher-ups keeps re-iterating how gentle and safe this tea is. i figure the warning was just one of those things they legally had to put on there thanks to the ridiculous fda. i mean, they practically have to put that on chamomile tea nowadays, don't they? but then i started thinking that i'd better not take any chances, so i quit drinking even small amounts of wine, quit coffee (stomach flu helped me get over that in one day), and (sigh) quit the tea. immediately thereafter, i began to feel gross and nauseous on a lot more of a regular basis, so it's making me a bit sad and i can't wait to start again! as soon as i give birth i am having a holy tea/ coffee/ beer and wine party with all my other recent birth-giver friends.

apparently baby is 2 inches long now! and has lips and fingernails. that's pretty cool. have i mentioned that sparrow rubs my belly and says "hi, baby!" it's such a sweet thing. we are trying to get out of her whether she thinks it's a boy or a girl, but she changes her mind quite frequently. i can't remember what i wrote in my last journal entry, but according to my ovulation calculator, it MAY be either, but i think it's probably a girl. which would be great, to have 2 little girls together. the only thing is, for a man the pressure is on to have male offspring, so i wouldn't mind having a boy right now just to get that pressure out of the way! i was the 2nd girl, and sparrow and this next one will be separated in age by the exact amt. of months that me and my sister are. so that would be cool. except i don't remember us getting along that well when we were growing up. but you never know. i pray God gives us one with a compatible personality, and that they will be absolutely best friends.

jen and joseph found out recently that their baby has a triosome condition or something like that. it is some fluke that happens at conception to one in so many babies, having nothing to do with genetics, health of the parents, etc. doctors expect the baby to die either before birth or have so many problems that she will probably not live long afterwards. but God has given them great faith and they are hoping for a miracle. this will be really interesting as i was requested to be a doula at her birth! God has also given them (and others) several dreams of when the child is already 2 or 3 years old, and he clearly gave them the name sarah elizabeth, which is super significant, since both sarah and elizabeth in the Bible had supernatural births. the first thing i thought of really when i heard the news was, "wow, i hope they have good insurance." how would you deal with money stuff in a baby that was health-challenged... but again, maybe she won't be at all. they said they are hearing so many stories of parents that had the same diagnosis, but the babies lived and were normal.

oh i found out i have to get my prenatal care at the county clinic, which is going to be...interesting. i see it as a place swarming with aids patients, junkies, and herpes. but hey, i guess beggars can't be choosers, and at least my prenatal care will be free again. the problem was that doctors are getting fed up with medi-cal, so barely anyone is taking it anymore. the ones i called that were potentially taking it, all said that they were currently "not taking new patients," but i do wonder if they really meant that they just aren't taking medi-cal. i mean, if no doctor is taking new patients, is every woman who gets newly pregnant in santa barbara having to go to the county clinic? i DOUBT it!! well, my registration is next tuesday, and i am resigned to it and don't really mind in the end. at least it's my second baby and i already know sort of what to expect. although the jen and joseph thing really does bring to mind that you NEVER know, and makes me a bit nervous to find out how this one is doing. esp. since i miscarried before. anyhow, the first question i will ask when i go in is how the dr. feels about natural birthing, and if he will allow me to write a birth plan. as long as he will agree to: no routine episiotomy, no iv, freedom of movement in labor, and alternative birthing positions, i think i will be ok. besides that, i just realized we might be moving before this baby ever comes!

we have high hopes for this summer. thomas' season ends early this year, at the end of february, and once i quit my job AND have another baby, in order to stay in this town and survive, he will need to be making about 2 thousand more than he does right now. hm. unless the tea business suddenly thrives and starts bringing in a ton of money. but i don't epect that to happen for another five years or so. anyways, i would LOVE to move out of state. in CA you can get ok rent in some places, but you really have to resign yourself to living in a ghetto area. in other states, you could live in a nice area and have a mortgage for half of what we are paying for our rent on the apartment! with 2 kids especially, it would be so nice to have a yard--i won't be able to take sparrow to the park as much, and she does love to be outside. so--we re praying about where to go! thomas would like to stay in-state for the next 4 years so he can finish his feldenkrais training, but that means we might have to live someplace like stockton. which wouldn't be horrible, i guess. as long as we have a job and our family nucleus, we will be fine. God is big. he knows exactly what we need. week 11 marks the time that i had my miscarriage last time around, and i hate to even think about it, but i can't deny that i have been nervous, and wondering what the difference was... hoping to hold on to this one and not have a repeat of that EVER again. once i am in the 2nd trimester i think i will breathe a bit easier, and that is coming up fairly soon. anyways, no spotting or anything so far at all, so i think we are good. once i am in 2nd trimester, i will have to go to the dentist, too, to get a cavity fixed that has been growing for quite sometime. good stuff. maybe i won't be so tired all the time anymore either... well not much left to say tonight! hopefully i will be journalling with more frequency in the future.



color spot focusing on "belly button baby," as the little one is now referred to by sparrow. yes, the lumpy figure has already set in... (note too that sparrow has 2 toothbrushes in the photo... neither of them hers!)