Monday, June 1, 2009

working it out

here it is. the business class ended three weeks ago. graduation two weeks ago with a full length ceremony at fess parker. summer schedule is here for preschool (field trips now, only once per week.) i now have time to write.

but i find that i am still in process of catching the vision that God is trying to give me, droplets at a time, attempts to gather and glean in the barren chaos that seems to define us some (most?)days.

this blog has been a sheltered family affair. but i am becoming aware that in order to be a good citizen of heaven, and a good steward at what God has placed in my hands, i must seek the good of more than just my clan. the good of my community, society,...

i need lessons in humility before i am ready to write, really write.

thoughts for this evening. i know i have a somber tone. and ok, here's why:

i have just come off of a completely spiritual experience at a blog just discovered: if you go to it you will know why. i am awed by the expressions of grace in this woman.

i want to say to heck with the california apartment and move out to the country and take up farming. see me next year in a gingham dress with blue pinafore, kneading daily bread and speaking to my youngsters in a gentle irish lilt.

no, but seriously. my brief moments on the above blog brought to light several things all at once:

1) christianity isn't boring. i already knew this, of course, but the beauty and holiness of everyday life with Christ, as expressed by ann voskamp are almost tangible and brought me to the brink of reverent tears. i am repenting for my lean toward the world's view of Bible.

2) holiness is here, now. much to learn in the area of living out my higher calling in the every day. much to learn about focusing in on Christ, sealing the lips of complaint, and opening the lips of joyous praise. treating each moment as sacred, God-made.

3) i have sorely neglected the cultivation of beauty and quiet in my life in recent years. to be drawn into a space of poetic expression, depth of feeling, and love for aesthetics (God shines through in the thoughtful simplicity) made my little heart swell. God created us to mimic Him. if i have to pencil in time in the calendar to express His beauty, i will do so. i WILL.

just go there. your heart will respond.

1 comment:

josephjen said...

I love reading what you have to write Doris...and I loved that blog you suggested. What a beautiful life they're living. Too bad we can't have a nice SB farm :) I'd love to see my kids raised with dirt between their toes...

Thanks for sharing your heart, keep writing!