Saturday, February 28, 2009
umbrella in a storm
something astounding happened to me the other day: i was standing in my favorite store, looking at all the gorgeous and inspiring food items they sell, when i saw my longtime friend who works there. "there are so many things i want to buy!" i blurted. we chatted a tiny bit, then i moved on. a few aisles later, i saw him slinking toward me again, and he got a bit awkward as he said, "hey doris? i have a little gift for you, it's from my wife..." and he pulled out of his pocket, yes: a trader joe's gift card. my jaw just dropped. i stand amazed and humbled before God again as i am hearing how his wife just had it on her heart to give us this gift, and how she told him he'd better take it to work today because she had a feeling i would come in that day. what! ok, well, i do go there QUITE often, but that makes it even more incredible because a trader joe's gift card is pretty much the best thing you could give me! not only that, but it was such perfect timing, as it was a roughing-it month. it was like God giving me an umbrella in a rainstorm just then: "i am still watching you. i know your every need."
Friday, February 20, 2009
the golden life
golden, golden, golden. it looks like those corn blue eyes are going to stay blue. everyone comments on her bright blue eyes. my husband being 25% mexican and dark-haired, and i myself having a dark-haired dad, i thought for sure my 2nd daughter was going to come out with a shock of black hair. but it was i who was shocked when the nurse said, "she's a blondie--look at those light eyebrows!" and i knew then that it had to be golden, the name i had always wanted... because of course it would not have worked with a black-haired golden and a blond-haired sparrow! but God gave me this one as a sweet little treasure, a present of smiles and laughter and faith that makes me quiver in my inadequate mommy boots. it's been over six months now, and time to reflect on it has been elusive like curly wisps of smoke when you try to catch them in your hand. but i have to tell some of what that girl is up to, or we just won't have a record!
teeth: her first tooth emerged on january 15th, shortly after she was five months old. (sparrow's came out at exactly 5 months to the day). golden's second tooth followed on february 5th and they are now two little perfect pearls in the bottom of her gurgly laugh.
waving: when we were in AZ in january, she made her first attempts at imitating a wave, and is still working on perfecting it. there was one morning in tucson, when omi came out and swore golden waved at her and said "hi." hahahaha! i remember really noticing it on thursday the 22nd at fred and pam tuggy's. she was discovering her hands and waving at things all evening, it seemed. kept herself entertained for hours. now she will distinctly wave at people when they say hi. her wave is heavy on the wrist action. she scoops at the air.
food: i was a bit more lax with golden's food to start out: we discovered at 5 months or so that she liked sucking on apples, and though i know they are not supposed to have apples this soon, i would let her have a lick here or there. i also let her suck on bananas til one day she managed to gum off a piece and get quite startled about it. it came out as a chunk in her poop the next day. her first "official" feeding came at the end of january/beg. of feb. (we filmed it) and it was commercial baby brown rice cereal. i have since switched her to the home made stuff because i remembered that to get them eating the homemade (the kind you can mix with kale and brewer's yeast!!), you have to get them used to it and not feed them store-bought. the problem was last week that i could not get the porridge lump-free. and i would also mix it with a little milk to thin it. then she would get surprised by the lumps and spit them out/gag and make the most hilarious lemon-faces. yesterday i had a brilliant idea and used my hand-blender to smooth the porridge after cooking it. and today, to experiment, i gave it to her thick and un-milk-enhanced. surprise!! she ate it and relished it! more than she's ever eaten. no gagging. so pleased. i am determined to introduce her to many different foods and somehow to avoid the pickiness that has been so hampering in sparrow's diet. (side note on sparrow's food right now: she likes bland foods and will eat a predictable tableau of about 20 things, but won't try new things unless they look like cookies, cake, or candy. anyways, she hates spicy food, but it's sooooo funny because she will eat anything if it's at the trader joe's sample stand! ha! ha! she will cry her way through the chorizo burrito, but insists still on eating it. it's also pretty much the only place she eats chicken. then, of course, i will buy something that she says she liked on the sample stand, and she won't eat it when i make it at home...)(let me see if i can remember what she eats on a daily basis: here are her picks--cheerios, almond milk, toast, butter, apples, bananas, eggs, rice, pasta (no sauce), hot dogs, melted cheese on pizza or cheese sandwiches, pureed kale, sweet potatoes, carrots or broccoli, raw carrots, steamed broccoli, peas, corn, corn chips, meatless chicken nuggets, berries...ok. i think that's about it, and that's about all the time i should spend on this topic.)
anyways, golden is 7 months now and eating tons of millet or rice porridge, i daresay she likes it more than nursing! it is a great challenge to get her to nurse enough each day. the main issue, i think, is that she has to be relatively still and face me instead of looking out at life. she also eats pureed pears, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, peas, avocado, and egg yolk.
sitting up: golden started doing mini-crunches to try to sit up at only two months. at five months she was doing great with the propping up-method. at six months she could sit up well, and two days after the 6-month mark (feb. 9th) i noted that she was doing it without falling over at all.
dancing: soon after learning to sit, she learned to bounce and "dance" with her upper body. hahaha! sometimes she grabs a noisy toy and bounces to the music she is making herself!
crawling: right on schedule, just like the sitting up that happened on the 9th of feb., on the 9th of march she was crawling! secretly at first. i espied her crawling shakily over to some toy in the early morning when she didn't know i was watching. later, when we were all in front of her cheering her on with the camera in hand, she got a little too overwhelmed and didn't do it. but now (today is sat. 03-14), she is cruising like a pro and already pulling herself up (and falling) everywhere too. i can tell she is so happy to have discovered that she can propel herself toward the object of her desire!
pulling up: yesterday in the AM when i was still dark, i was at last awakened by golden's noises and when i walked over to her crib, she had pulled herself up on the railing and i'm afraid she didn't know how to sit back down! she was quite distressed. she has bonked her chin and her head as well on similar ventures around the living room. if only anyone had yet figured out how to do life without falling, young one!
communicating: i have been trying to speak german to golden from the beginning. i only succeed about 25% of the time because i am so out of practice that the words just don't flow. i am afraid i am teaching her a very inferior brand of german, if i am succeeding at all. other times it makes me more silent than i would be if i had just english flowing out, as with sparrow. i chatted to her all the time. with golden, i am mindful that it should be german, so oftentimes i say nothing at all. boo. but still, i'm determined. i am doing german when i teach her signs, so she knows what it means to "klatsch die haende" and "kopf shuetteln." she knows "mehr" means more and "fertig" means all done. she does the all done sign now, which is awesome.
teeth: her first tooth emerged on january 15th, shortly after she was five months old. (sparrow's came out at exactly 5 months to the day). golden's second tooth followed on february 5th and they are now two little perfect pearls in the bottom of her gurgly laugh.
waving: when we were in AZ in january, she made her first attempts at imitating a wave, and is still working on perfecting it. there was one morning in tucson, when omi came out and swore golden waved at her and said "hi." hahahaha! i remember really noticing it on thursday the 22nd at fred and pam tuggy's. she was discovering her hands and waving at things all evening, it seemed. kept herself entertained for hours. now she will distinctly wave at people when they say hi. her wave is heavy on the wrist action. she scoops at the air.
food: i was a bit more lax with golden's food to start out: we discovered at 5 months or so that she liked sucking on apples, and though i know they are not supposed to have apples this soon, i would let her have a lick here or there. i also let her suck on bananas til one day she managed to gum off a piece and get quite startled about it. it came out as a chunk in her poop the next day. her first "official" feeding came at the end of january/beg. of feb. (we filmed it) and it was commercial baby brown rice cereal. i have since switched her to the home made stuff because i remembered that to get them eating the homemade (the kind you can mix with kale and brewer's yeast!!), you have to get them used to it and not feed them store-bought. the problem was last week that i could not get the porridge lump-free. and i would also mix it with a little milk to thin it. then she would get surprised by the lumps and spit them out/gag and make the most hilarious lemon-faces. yesterday i had a brilliant idea and used my hand-blender to smooth the porridge after cooking it. and today, to experiment, i gave it to her thick and un-milk-enhanced. surprise!! she ate it and relished it! more than she's ever eaten. no gagging. so pleased. i am determined to introduce her to many different foods and somehow to avoid the pickiness that has been so hampering in sparrow's diet. (side note on sparrow's food right now: she likes bland foods and will eat a predictable tableau of about 20 things, but won't try new things unless they look like cookies, cake, or candy. anyways, she hates spicy food, but it's sooooo funny because she will eat anything if it's at the trader joe's sample stand! ha! ha! she will cry her way through the chorizo burrito, but insists still on eating it. it's also pretty much the only place she eats chicken. then, of course, i will buy something that she says she liked on the sample stand, and she won't eat it when i make it at home...)(let me see if i can remember what she eats on a daily basis: here are her picks--cheerios, almond milk, toast, butter, apples, bananas, eggs, rice, pasta (no sauce), hot dogs, melted cheese on pizza or cheese sandwiches, pureed kale, sweet potatoes, carrots or broccoli, raw carrots, steamed broccoli, peas, corn, corn chips, meatless chicken nuggets, berries...ok. i think that's about it, and that's about all the time i should spend on this topic.)
anyways, golden is 7 months now and eating tons of millet or rice porridge, i daresay she likes it more than nursing! it is a great challenge to get her to nurse enough each day. the main issue, i think, is that she has to be relatively still and face me instead of looking out at life. she also eats pureed pears, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, peas, avocado, and egg yolk.
sitting up: golden started doing mini-crunches to try to sit up at only two months. at five months she was doing great with the propping up-method. at six months she could sit up well, and two days after the 6-month mark (feb. 9th) i noted that she was doing it without falling over at all.
dancing: soon after learning to sit, she learned to bounce and "dance" with her upper body. hahaha! sometimes she grabs a noisy toy and bounces to the music she is making herself!
crawling: right on schedule, just like the sitting up that happened on the 9th of feb., on the 9th of march she was crawling! secretly at first. i espied her crawling shakily over to some toy in the early morning when she didn't know i was watching. later, when we were all in front of her cheering her on with the camera in hand, she got a little too overwhelmed and didn't do it. but now (today is sat. 03-14), she is cruising like a pro and already pulling herself up (and falling) everywhere too. i can tell she is so happy to have discovered that she can propel herself toward the object of her desire!
pulling up: yesterday in the AM when i was still dark, i was at last awakened by golden's noises and when i walked over to her crib, she had pulled herself up on the railing and i'm afraid she didn't know how to sit back down! she was quite distressed. she has bonked her chin and her head as well on similar ventures around the living room. if only anyone had yet figured out how to do life without falling, young one!
communicating: i have been trying to speak german to golden from the beginning. i only succeed about 25% of the time because i am so out of practice that the words just don't flow. i am afraid i am teaching her a very inferior brand of german, if i am succeeding at all. other times it makes me more silent than i would be if i had just english flowing out, as with sparrow. i chatted to her all the time. with golden, i am mindful that it should be german, so oftentimes i say nothing at all. boo. but still, i'm determined. i am doing german when i teach her signs, so she knows what it means to "klatsch die haende" and "kopf shuetteln." she knows "mehr" means more and "fertig" means all done. she does the all done sign now, which is awesome.
Monday, February 9, 2009
january quotes
"the grey rabbit took the brown rabbit's stepa-stetha-testa-pestago-stepaghost!" (stethoscope) 01-02
me showing golden a picture:
"golden, this is when you were in my belly!"
sp: "i want her back in there, too." 01-03
sp: "can you get pregnant?"
me: "well, i am sure i will someday, but...not right now."
sp: (nods decisively) "on thursday." 01-03
me: "where do butterflies come from?"
sp: "from outside! --from land!"
me: "from land?"
sp: "no, from land! from land to land!" 01-03
(at bedtime)
me: "ok, take off your pants."
sp: "we also call them frants." 01-03
"polappo!" 01-04 (sparrow named a monkey in a book.)
sparrow speaking gibberish, then
"i'm speaking my own german!" 01-04
"they're not obeying!" 01-04 (about mommy's canvas stretcher bars when i was having a hard time lining them up)
"i saw mary and the kids and they were in a cave, and something happened to them... and all of the kids wanted a baby." 01-05, upon waking up in the morning
"mommy, i want butter with a stick." 01-05
(talking about lollypops to me)
"...but the butter ones are even crunchy, but the hard ones are kind of sucky." 01-05
me: "ooh, you can wear your purple dress today!"
sp: "was my purple dress from last year?" 01-07
"i want a whole junk of butter!" 01-07 (she meant chunk, not junk.)
sp: "obama, obama..." (singing)
me: "please don't sing about obama. ...he's gona be president, did you know that?
sp: (nods knowingly.) "when he gets pregnant, he will have a baby!" 01-09
"i dreamed for 5 minutes, and i woke up and go'd." 01-10
sp: "you were pregnant, and you had a big belly, right?"
me: "mmhmm..."
sp: "hmmmm, pregnant... i'll think of that." (puts chin in hand)
sp: "you had only one sparrow and one Golden!" 01-11
"daddy and i love to play with her." 01-11 (about golden)
my phone rings
sp: "mom! it's P-hone!" 01-11
(i tend to call my phone pee-hone and she thought it was the name of someone calling! haha!)
"mommy rhymes with salami!" 01-12 (she really came up with that one by herself! we were working on rhyming that week.)
"i'm gonna do all the coughings until i'm all better." 01-14
"i got a lot of pee pee in my butt." 01-14 (going potty)
"i want five hundred ponytails." 01-16
at thomas' dance performance:
me: "did you like that piece? what color were the costumes? what was the music like?"
sp: "it was terrifying music!" 01-16
"i'm winding you!" 01-17(making "wind"--fanning me with a book)
"my panties won't focus!" -01-18 (having a hard time getting her panties back on..)
sp: "kitties are the best ever! kitties love us!"
me: "you know who else loves kitties?"
sp: "God." 01-24
(i was thinking of my dad, her opa wolfram)
"our house is named california." 01-25
"when she gets bigger and bigger, she will be able to like tomatoes. and cheese! and spaghetti! and when she gets bigger and bigger she will be able to wear a tiny fairy dress." 01-25
"i'm making a appointment for you. i'm gonna get a little bit of paper and i'm gonna make a appointment for you." 01-25 (scribbles on a piece of paper)
"dear sparrow, love danielle." 01-27 (when thomas was opening a credit card bill)
me: "easter is in march or april. and something else is in april too. can you guess what it is?"
sp: "...coconuts and clams!...k-mart!" 01-28
"flossy the snowman!" 01-29
me showing golden a picture:
"golden, this is when you were in my belly!"
sp: "i want her back in there, too." 01-03
sp: "can you get pregnant?"
me: "well, i am sure i will someday, but...not right now."
sp: (nods decisively) "on thursday." 01-03
me: "where do butterflies come from?"
sp: "from outside! --from land!"
me: "from land?"
sp: "no, from land! from land to land!" 01-03
(at bedtime)
me: "ok, take off your pants."
sp: "we also call them frants." 01-03
"polappo!" 01-04 (sparrow named a monkey in a book.)
sparrow speaking gibberish, then
"i'm speaking my own german!" 01-04
"they're not obeying!" 01-04 (about mommy's canvas stretcher bars when i was having a hard time lining them up)
"i saw mary and the kids and they were in a cave, and something happened to them... and all of the kids wanted a baby." 01-05, upon waking up in the morning
"mommy, i want butter with a stick." 01-05
(talking about lollypops to me)
"...but the butter ones are even crunchy, but the hard ones are kind of sucky." 01-05
me: "ooh, you can wear your purple dress today!"
sp: "was my purple dress from last year?" 01-07
"i want a whole junk of butter!" 01-07 (she meant chunk, not junk.)
sp: "obama, obama..." (singing)
me: "please don't sing about obama. ...he's gona be president, did you know that?
sp: (nods knowingly.) "when he gets pregnant, he will have a baby!" 01-09
"i dreamed for 5 minutes, and i woke up and go'd." 01-10
sp: "you were pregnant, and you had a big belly, right?"
me: "mmhmm..."
sp: "hmmmm, pregnant... i'll think of that." (puts chin in hand)
sp: "you had only one sparrow and one Golden!" 01-11
"daddy and i love to play with her." 01-11 (about golden)
my phone rings
sp: "mom! it's P-hone!" 01-11
(i tend to call my phone pee-hone and she thought it was the name of someone calling! haha!)
"mommy rhymes with salami!" 01-12 (she really came up with that one by herself! we were working on rhyming that week.)
"i'm gonna do all the coughings until i'm all better." 01-14
"i got a lot of pee pee in my butt." 01-14 (going potty)
"i want five hundred ponytails." 01-16
at thomas' dance performance:
me: "did you like that piece? what color were the costumes? what was the music like?"
sp: "it was terrifying music!" 01-16
"i'm winding you!" 01-17(making "wind"--fanning me with a book)
"my panties won't focus!" -01-18 (having a hard time getting her panties back on..)
sp: "kitties are the best ever! kitties love us!"
me: "you know who else loves kitties?"
sp: "God." 01-24
(i was thinking of my dad, her opa wolfram)
"our house is named california." 01-25
"when she gets bigger and bigger, she will be able to like tomatoes. and cheese! and spaghetti! and when she gets bigger and bigger she will be able to wear a tiny fairy dress." 01-25
"i'm making a appointment for you. i'm gonna get a little bit of paper and i'm gonna make a appointment for you." 01-25 (scribbles on a piece of paper)
"dear sparrow, love danielle." 01-27 (when thomas was opening a credit card bill)
me: "easter is in march or april. and something else is in april too. can you guess what it is?"
sp: "...coconuts and clams!...k-mart!" 01-28
"flossy the snowman!" 01-29
Sunday, January 25, 2009
AZ, take II
arizona! i am glad i don't easily fall off a train once i get on, because that dogged determination got us a sweet week in tucson with old friends, after all. after the failed attempt to attend the wycliffe mexico MK reunion right after christmas, i couldn't shake the disappointment, and the feeling that we were supposed to go, despite being thwarted. so i didn't unpack the suitcase, in hopes that there would be another opportunity! of course it all came together and i even got to go with a best best friend! sadly, though, holly's radio station got scrapped, which was harsh! but was nonetheless the time off i had been waiting for to hang out with her! when she came to see me the weekend of the 10th, i was basking in the fun like a naked englishman on the lawn when the sun peeks out... then the idea hit me like a brilliant light from heaven: she needed to come with me to AZ! it was sooooooo the perfect opportunity, since it was going to be her birthday soon, and the week of the 18th thru 24th was the week thomas would be in san francisco anyways. gas was cheap, and actually already paid for...by her, to tell the truth, since she had sent me the SWEETEST christmas card ever, with a check for gas money to tucson (the 1st time). that money had obviously not all been used yet! it was a no-brainer, and i am fortunate that she thought so too. always up for an adventure!
so the following weekend i loaded up the girls, said goodbye to my dancing husband, and headed down to LA to pick up holly. roadtrippig after children/ with children is a bit more of a sober experience because the responsibility is for more lives than just your own sorry bum. should i do it? what if something happens? etc. but it is good to have a friend to talk these things over with. and be reminded that worry is fruitless. and when you are laughing in a green volvo with 2 sweet babies and a former mexi DJ from LA, heading past windmills, through desert brush, and leaving behind brilliantly layered views of mesas in fiery sunsets, it's pretty much impossible to keep living in forlorn fear mode.
the hours flew by; holly drove most of the way, freeing me up for entertaining sparrow/ pumping breastmilk as we cruised the freeways. thank God for my double electric breastpump! every mother should have one. and whenever sparrow had to go to the bathroom, i would bust out her potty and the toilet paper and do the whole routine like it was 2nd nature. i wish i had a picture of her pooping in the antechamber of the gas station bathroom in indio. the most brilliant travel idea i had was lining sparrow's potty with a plastic bag so she could poop in her familiar place, and so i could dispose of it in comfort and ease! and goodness, it was needed--she had to poop twice. twice! who does that when they're traveling!? so... this was also the end of sparrow's innocence of mcdonald's. yes, she had never been to one, and i would have kept it that way, except we had to stop SOMEWHERE, after all, and honestly the play area was a relief at that point. i just bought a coffee and it was really not half bad! probably about 5 notches up from gas station coffee. i should run a gas station someday that serves peets. then i will always pleasantly surprise road-weary travelers who are resorting to the gas station coffee as a last ditch... but that is not part of my story at the moment. point is, the trip went fabulously. golden, i would dare to say, might even prefer the bottle to the breast. she is one who easily gets distracted when she is nursing. she frequently will take only a "snack" feeding and then get too engaged in whatever is going on around her to eat any more. but when i am feeding her a bottle, she can drink milk and "play" at the same time! she looks at me and gurgles and chews away. just her cup of tea. it worked out just great.
we drove away from blythe into arizona leaving behind a stunning sunset of deep reds. hours later, we finally rolled into tucson--literally. rolling over the bumps and dips that is tangerine road. the feeling of tucson at night is extremely unique. there is a quietness about it and a sense of security. the clouds in tucson are always interesting, usually thick and piled over themselves, leaving you with a sense of blanketed weight. i always come back to the thought that God gives inland places those clouds in lieu of ocean--as a sounding board for spiritual reprieves and voiceless communication with God through the expanse. and there is history here. for holly and me. a good, solid trail of wholesome memories. if it weren't for the new wal-mart on the side of the road, we might as well be driving into the past.
omi and monty were still up waiting for us at graham central. they have trained their kids to be able to fall asleep anywhere, and the two were both sleeping on the couch as content as little bugs while their parents watched tv. it must have been about 11 or 11:30, and both of the little ones woke up when we made our entrance. sparrow and danielle quickly warmed up to each other and started running around like dear friends. when we brought out the presents we'd brought for them, sparrow thought the present was hers to open and tore right into it--again! she had already demolished the wrapping of one of them this morning right before we were to start driving, and i was left to re-wrap it at the last minute... anyhow, it was beautiful to walk into the peacefulness of this long-established and familiar home with old friends waiting like no time had passed, and i fell asleep in annie's old room with my daughters to the comforting sounds of omi, monty, and holly talking and laughing into the wee hours.
monday
getting up in the morning and finding mrs. graham sitting by her fireplace sipping her homemade latte and reading a huge bible was just the perfect start to the week. she was the same as ever, a chipper, matter-of-fact, chatty mrs. graham who would do anything for you despite her sharp tongue. we got along quite well.
it was our day to hang out with na. NA! the elusive cyprian! i am sooooooo glad that i was able to make my visit to tucson coincide with even the very tail end of hers. i think God knew this is why i was supposed to miss the reunion. so i could spend a little time with na. and she was so gracious, she spent all day long with us, from breakfast at the grahams, to going shopping at trader joe's to making sandwiches to starbucks with mama moe's and beyond. driving in the car with her, talking about labor and hospitals, showing ashraf how to do the double hip squeeze ("it kinda hurts!" -na)...that's na and no one else is like her. thoughtful, curious, original, encouraging, easy-going... it was gorgeous just being with her and her "gollum" belly in that bright yellow shirt and the quiet glow about her. i miss her a lot.
sparrow and danielle were hilarious together, pushing tiny shopping carts, staring at the tv while eating their dinner side by side, grabbing milks at starbucks and ramming straws into them before anyone had said they could have any. they were also running around starbucks and shrieking and hiding to the point where the staff was i am sure mightily relieved when we finally left their establishment! we were there for at least 2 hours with mama moe, and golden had her crying moments too. too bad she already has separation anxiety (started around 4 months--super early, as dr. vic confirmed) because it is ineffective most of the time to have someone else hold her! that storchenwiege wrap is a mother's best friend.
that evening, after bidding farewell to the abdous, omi, monty, holly and i stayed up and watched a couple episodes of "psych" and talking and being good old friends in a good old neighborhood.
tuesday
do i remember what happened? not really... we hung out at grahams all day long and chilled. always a good time. we popped over to pam tuggy's for a visit in the AM. i had thought about staying there with holly, but graham central made more sense in my head. and it worked out just great. pam is such a sweet lady, though. she keeps tabls on what's going on with people, so it's lots of fun. we played outside with the kids in the afternoon, and made pizza for dinner. i love this family stuff. emi and jonathan came over! she is so beautiful. i still can't believe she is a married woman now, something in me just still thinks of her as little emily, my friend's baby sister... sparrow and danielle stopped liking each other so well when they realized they had to share toys all the time. sparrow began hovering over her food when she would get something and say "danielle can't have this." i was a bit at a loss on how to properly deal with such an attitude. i'd like to let them hash it out for themselves. but are they too young for that? after dinner holly and i took off to go to blockbuster and get "SNL best of will ferrell vol. 1"--one of my favorite dvds ever! and ice cream. can't forget the ice cream when you're on vacation. unkie even came over to hang out with us. mr. and mrs. graham are so chill to let us stay in their house and be all loud til the cows come home.
wednesday
omi and i took the girls to gymnastics in the morning, which was really fun. danielle pranced around like an expert in her pale blue gymnastics leotard with the tiny skirt, and sparrow learned how to do a "roll" (somersault)...and to follow directions. she still exhibits her donkey-kick skills rather frequently now, several weeks later. the gymnastics school was awesome. it is called "trinity" and is obviously christian. they pray with the kids at the end of every class! without fear or shame. i love that. they also have a ballet studio and teach dance as well as art. so cool! david and golden, by the way, were super cute sitting side by side in their car seats watching as omi and i participated in the moms-and-kids gymnastics. golden hadn't even nursed that morning, but you wouldn't know it. for her, if there's anything interesting going on around, it trumps the need to feed. she is happy if she gets to see new and exciting things like children doing donkey kicks. emi is one of the gymnastics teachers, by the way. i am totally stumped by tucson. on the one hand, the class was about a 40-minute drive away, something we in santa barbara would never have to deal with. but on the other hand, it somehow seems like making a living in tucson is so...easy. lots of space+ cheap real estate+ sprawling metro area= thriving christian gymnastics studio. so here is emi making $15/hour, almost full-time, for directing little children in gymnastics. she has a christian boss and co-workers. hello! this is a no-brainer! we have GOT to move there! ...then i remember that my brain is wired completely differently than my husband's and he is actually the one supposed to be leading the family. hm. i was inspired nonetheless and left him a message on his phone!
coming back from gymnastics, we met julia and her brood who were visiting grandma. wow, 4 big children, elizabeth is 10! and i remember before julia was engaged! that is crazy stuff right there.
i was bushed out of my mind that afternoon. we were supposed to go to a birthday party for david that evening, who was turning one, and we went over to omi's house for a bit to try to help prepare. but i was so out of it and tired that i took the girls and left, cause all the kids together were making me super crazy. i didn't know where i was going, but i had to get out. it was raining. i didn't feel better til i went to starbucks and got a double espresso. there we go. then we drove back and i functioned normally for the rest of the night. mr. and mrs. graham came too.
we had a delicious taco dinner and yellow ducky cake, and then had a dance party in the living room. which was really fun! we bounced around with the youngsters while holly deejayed for us. david is soooooooooo cute, by the way. i had never met him before this trip, and he is this precious, cuddly lovey. he takes strongly after his grandpa tim, too, which is so fun for me to see. i have always liked mr. graham.
then monty and omi convinced me to put my little ones to bed at their house while we stayed over and watched notting hill, one of holly's and my classic favorites. that's one thing that is so cool about monty. well it counts as two, i guess: 1) he likes omi's friends and makes it clear. 2) he is always up for hanging out even though he has to work like any normal man. he is really easy-going and super helpful. i was coming up with excuses about why to go back to grahams, and monty dashed them all. "i have to put her to bed." "so? put her in danielle's bed." "well where will danielle sleep?" "we can put them in our bed for now." (golden was already in davey's crib.) "i have to brush sparrow's teeth." "so? we have toothbrushes!" i dashed back to grahams to get some bedtime stuff for sparrow, but i am so glad i stayed over and stayed up with my friends. vacation doesn't happen that often! snuggled up with holly in the rocky couch laughing our heads off about the deleted scenes' most awkward lady ever! "oh right! SO-RY! like somoeone scooped my brains out with a great big spoon!" what could be cozier?
thursday
it rained again and we stayed in all day. it was emi's day off, so she came over and hung out with us. she sang some songs for us. the kids had plenty to do. i knew they would feel comfortable at graham central when i envisioned this trip. "grandma" susie has a bunch of grandchildren who live close by, so she has a huge toy trunk right in the main room. sparrow never even got to the bottom of it.
we took a little jaunt down to grandma mumma's house. she lives super close by now and is 99 years old! i remember her from when i was in middle school, when she lived in a little trailer on the graham's property with her amazingly sweet husband. she is omi's great-grandma, on her dad's side. this means she is danielle's great-great-grandma! truly amazing, and she is still sharp! it took her a bit to recognize me, but once i told her my name, she knew exactly who i was and was such sweet company. she wears a super thin gold band on her finger which is her wedding ring that she has never taken off in EIGHTY years! that is 3 of my lifetimes! and the ring used to be about the size of mine, but it is gold, and it has just been worn and worn to this little thread, by grace mumma the loving wife. wow.
in the afternoon we drove down to my old house! to visit mrs. fodey, who had one of my old dolls. i had gotten a little depressed at the thought of the house earlier when the graham's were talking about it and how beautiful the fodeys had made it. but the visit was good, mrs. fodey is a sweet lady. i got to take pictures of sparrow in front of the cupboards my mom painted back in the day. i was amazed that any of these cupboards were still in place. they had knocked out the counter between the kitchen and dining area, but i was still super amazed at how SMALL the whole place seemed to me! especially since i DID live in the house when i was fully grown, why is it that i remember it as larger!?? even the lawn seemed tiny, it was so odd! plus sparrow kept accidentally calling marilyn frodo. when sparrow picked off pieces of the old doll's head and i reprimanded her a bit, she said, "frodo will fix it," which was just a hilarious linguistic accident, of course, because she has no idea about frodo baggins or any of that. but danielle and sparrow were running about in their pretty naartjie skirts eating marilyn's kumquats and playing her piano. truly a surreal experience.
that evening holly's aunt pam had invited us to dinner at her house. she had told us to invite everyone we wanted. so it was an awesome reunion at fred tuggy's with tortilla soup, jicama, avocado, and good company. i have always loved their octagonal house with the large play-loft. all 3 newbergs showed up! jonathan came too! and aunt pam's sister was there for a visit. the food was good, the flan was amazing, there was coffee and later we opened a bottle of wine. we played pool in the loft, and danielle and sparrow were getting along really well again. they were running around together all night, and playing bedtime together and reading stories with russ. meg is lovely. when she sat down next to me at dinner, she said, "so guess what i do for a living now? i teach fimo! and i always tell them about the german lady who would have us over and taught us how to do fimo." what?! that is so touching, inspiring, and shocking! it is amazing that she can make a living off of it, for one thing. she teaches art, too, and has several different venues around town where she teaches on different days. a lot of her clients are homeschoolers. so there you have it! there she is, doing what she loves, and experiencing a fulfilled existence, another success story chalked up to tucson's "ease." later i beat omi at pool, and the kids were all happy and independent... jonathan entertained golden as she chewed pieces of puzzle. i looked around at omi, emi, chris, holly, core people to my existence, and yet i barely talk to them at all in santa barbara! and how many times have i hung out with these people on sweltering tucson nights when it was just their creativity and laughter that preserved my sanity? when i see them, it is as if no time has passed. that is the bond of missionary kids. a past that is so unique and strong that it makes up for separate years, even decades.
friday
spent a lot of time at "home" again, as it was rainy. holly came over and we made pancakes, for it was her birthday! 27--such a nice age, and she is a live wire, firecracker, deep thinker, courageous role model, fun lover, and bona fide trooper. a jack of all trades. a gem to have encountered in this life. we had a mellow time, chatted and enjoyed our last day. dropped off the volvo to uncle fred that afternoon so he could go over it before tomorrow's ride home. this means holly and i got to drive through saddlebrooke and *admire* the changes/ reflect on how this settlement has affected our lives. omi and i took mr. graham's car to trader joe's later to buy some items for holly's birthday dinner! mrs. graham was so amazing and broke out with some chicken, rice, etc. and made a fabulous dish, pretty impromptu. she really must love us, after all! haha, no, i knew that all along. i have really loved her company. in the evening, friends began to arrive. we had lauren drive in from phoenix--thanks lauren! i haven't seen the girl since na's wedding! and chris and russ andeven jeremy and ann! sitting around the table sharing dinner and laughter with friends--what more do you need? we presented holly with a pair of white boots that we had bought online. sadly they were too big! but it was the only size they'd had. i had a feeling they were not quite on the money anyways, in terms of what she wanted. they looked different in the picture online, in my defense! she was so flattered and sweet, however. she will find something good to replace them with in these lean times, i am sure!
i couldn't believe that we all got convinced to go OUT after the dinner! lauren and holly had dressed to party and we wanted to do something for sure, but this is not LA, let me tell you. all we really needed was each other, though. hannah came over too, and joined us, and we ended up at some new-ish pub in oro valley: holly, lauren, chris, monty, omi, hannah, and i having mimosas, beers, and lemonades and much to laugh about til late. it was a bit nerve-wracking, i'll admit, leaving my babies to go party, but mrs. graham had offered to be there and let us leave all the kids with her "they'll be sleeping anyways, we'll pull them out of the house if there's a fire," she reassured me. i HOPED both sparrow and golden would stay asleep for the whole time i was out. otherwise, mrs. graham would be dealing with more than she reckoned for. and she can't nurse the babe, unfortunately.
the place closed after a short hour, and we stood around in the cold outside prolonging the magical laughter and banter for quite some time, then we all decided to go home. long day tomorrow! but it was a fun conclusion to a magical week.
saturday
the plan was to leave "around 10 or 11," so of course it was after 11. but that was mostly my fault cause i had a bunch of stuff to pack! i had insisted on bringing golden's pack-n-play just because i thought she's be more "at home" in it, only to find out she could fall asleep just as well in the crib in the room. i'm blessed she's so easy. mrs. graham had also given me a big bag of doll house items, which was absolutely awesome that she had saved them for me. that dollhouse sat in our pink room in our house for at least a decade, and there were a LOT of handmade (by my sister) food items, tiny books, dolls, and mini flower pots. as well as little blankets and mattresses and things she crafted for the dollhouse inhabitants. SO amazing. tiny little hamburgers, grapes, vases, super intricate stuff. i think i made one thing too: the skillet with a pile of scrambled stuff to go in it! hahaha you can tell by the way the handle is crooked, and the food is just a bunch of scraps thrown together! anyways... i digress. the point is, we got it all in the car and said our final goodbyes to omi and monty as they were heading off to attend a funeral, of all things. bye to mr. and mrs. graham too, and we headed off into the gorgeous blue.
in the middle of the desert between tucson and phoenix, i found out that holly had hopes i would drop her off in phoenix! wot! yes, apparently a BUNCH of her cousins were gathered in phoenix this very day to celebrate a baby shower for one of them, and she was gonna be able to get a ride back with her cousin from orange county. obviously she HAD to take the opportunity, there was no question, but it didn't stop me from being a bit selfish and freaked out, unfortunately. what on earth was i going to do with two babies by myself all the way to santa barbara? if i was driving, there was obviously no way i could be giving sparrow art supplies or pumping milk for golden. i would have to make a lot more, and a lot longer, stops. but heck. i am a good roadtripper who can handle long hours. all those denver-tucson hauls by myself trained me well! so i decided to make the most of it. i got to hang out a bit and rinse my breastpump in phoenix at the cousin's, and sparrow ran about playing with the youngest girl maliya, who had a beautiful toy kitchen and was so sweet! she stood out on the lawn waiting until we drove off so she could wave goodbye! they were prepping a baby shower fit for a queen over there, and holly jumped right in to help out. amazingness. once we said our fond goodbyes, therefore, i was on my own! just me and the girls with the wide west before us.
it was hot. and sunny. sparrow had the sun on her face, and i had used the baby blanket to block the window where golden was sleeping. thank God she was sleeping. but sparrow was hot and tired and whiny, and it was quite the sweat-fest until she did at last doze off, since there was nothing i could do. but i was sweating from the anxiety, not just the heat. about 45 minutes out of phoenix, golden woke up in the middle of nowhere. i drove on for awhile to see if she would fall back asleep, before finally pulling off onto a desolate road where there was a dirt clearing to park the car. two semi-trucks were also stationed nearby; i hoped their drivers were asleep. there was trash strewn about, and old mattress... basically, the type of scene that was perfect for a horrible situation to happen. it made me quite nervous. sparrow got out but soon found this was not a fun place to play, and decided to climb around on the passenger seat. golden would not nurse! it was amazing to me, since she hadn't nursed since before we left tucson. she was in a "new" place and so had to check everything out and "play" instead. after wasting close to an hour in this godforsaken spot, we drove on. i threw my hands up with golden. "you let me know when you're hungry, then." when she was truly hungry, she would eat. by now the shadows were getting longer and the air began to cool off. golden fell asleep again and sparrow got in a good mood and was fine company for a few hours. she looked out the window at the flat, flat desert stretch and said, "is that an ocean?" the approach to the cluster of mesas toward the border was amazing. the sun was again setting (we were here at sunset on the way over!) and there were unbelievably picturesque layers emerging in the ancient hues of that quiet, undisturbed monument. i decided to call leanne before the CA border, cause you can still drive and talk on the cell phone in AZ! woohoo! reached brent and then got cut off cause i was in a hilly pass.
the border between AZ and CA has always astounded me. nothing but dry crackly desert on the arizona side, but as soon as you pass into CA it is lush, green fields and palm trees. still desert, of course, but california has cultivated it. the land on both sides is the same. the culture is not.
well, i was in it for the long haul. it got dark and i began to plan my gas stop. there was nothing i wanted more right then than a huge latte to get me comfort and energy in one! every time i passed a little town, the girls would still be asleep. i would assess the distance to the next town: 45 miles, 60 miles, etc. and think, "i can make it!" i just thought it would NOT be worth it to wake them up if i didn't have an emergency... eventually i made it to indio. indio, california. there was an ENORMOUS, new-looking shopping center off the side of the road, but no gas station. i wasted another 1/2 hour or so driving around indio finding NO gas station and NO starbucks. what IS this place?! eventually i decided to just backtrack and make a stop at the shopping center for the kids' sake. then i had to choose between super target (which usually has starbucks!) and mcdonald's. of course i picked mcdonald's, so that sparrow could jump around for a bit. hey. their coffee is not THAT bad. so we did the mcd's and even got fries, but golden, again, would not nurse! we were in the play room, and when i tried to nurse her she would shriek and rip the nursing cover off so she could see the kids play! what a crazy baby. back on the road, i found a gas station off the next exit and nursed golden in the car. two miles further down the road, i saw it. the HUGE. DRIVE THRU. STARBUCKS. right after i had already bought mcdonald's coffee. sheesh. you really have to know where these places are in advance. something that kept reaffirming itself as the trip went on. mcdonalds is fine, but doesn't have the best oomph, evidently. after LA, i began to get massively knackered to the point where i thought i could NOT stay awake another second. i called holly but couldn't stay chatting for too long because my battery was running low and i wanted to have my phone in case of emergency, of course. so. now WHERE is a starbucks (or better yet a peets) between LA and SB? i couldn't find one. i pulled off at some town in between and drove around (i know it's here somewhere!) but had to settle for gas station coffee in the end! gas station! truly an abomination. 99cents of brown water. which i doused in artificial creamers in an attempt to make it palatable. well. it got us through the trip alive, so i guess i better not be too ungrateful. finally, about 11:40 (12:40 tucson time) we pulled into evergreen apartments and were met by thomas, lovely thomas. we all stayed up enjoying our togetherness for awhile. the first thing sparrow did was put on her fairy dress, hahahaha! and so the portal closed. travel to another place is surreal, magical. i felt a bit forlorn for a few days following, like i was thrown back into a stark reality... things are up in the air here. and it was gray. now that we are back in the swing of things i am immensely grateful for my life. and this large, square apartment (i call it the wolery) with its blank walls. potential is what it is.
so the following weekend i loaded up the girls, said goodbye to my dancing husband, and headed down to LA to pick up holly. roadtrippig after children/ with children is a bit more of a sober experience because the responsibility is for more lives than just your own sorry bum. should i do it? what if something happens? etc. but it is good to have a friend to talk these things over with. and be reminded that worry is fruitless. and when you are laughing in a green volvo with 2 sweet babies and a former mexi DJ from LA, heading past windmills, through desert brush, and leaving behind brilliantly layered views of mesas in fiery sunsets, it's pretty much impossible to keep living in forlorn fear mode.
the hours flew by; holly drove most of the way, freeing me up for entertaining sparrow/ pumping breastmilk as we cruised the freeways. thank God for my double electric breastpump! every mother should have one. and whenever sparrow had to go to the bathroom, i would bust out her potty and the toilet paper and do the whole routine like it was 2nd nature. i wish i had a picture of her pooping in the antechamber of the gas station bathroom in indio. the most brilliant travel idea i had was lining sparrow's potty with a plastic bag so she could poop in her familiar place, and so i could dispose of it in comfort and ease! and goodness, it was needed--she had to poop twice. twice! who does that when they're traveling!? so... this was also the end of sparrow's innocence of mcdonald's. yes, she had never been to one, and i would have kept it that way, except we had to stop SOMEWHERE, after all, and honestly the play area was a relief at that point. i just bought a coffee and it was really not half bad! probably about 5 notches up from gas station coffee. i should run a gas station someday that serves peets. then i will always pleasantly surprise road-weary travelers who are resorting to the gas station coffee as a last ditch... but that is not part of my story at the moment. point is, the trip went fabulously. golden, i would dare to say, might even prefer the bottle to the breast. she is one who easily gets distracted when she is nursing. she frequently will take only a "snack" feeding and then get too engaged in whatever is going on around her to eat any more. but when i am feeding her a bottle, she can drink milk and "play" at the same time! she looks at me and gurgles and chews away. just her cup of tea. it worked out just great.
we drove away from blythe into arizona leaving behind a stunning sunset of deep reds. hours later, we finally rolled into tucson--literally. rolling over the bumps and dips that is tangerine road. the feeling of tucson at night is extremely unique. there is a quietness about it and a sense of security. the clouds in tucson are always interesting, usually thick and piled over themselves, leaving you with a sense of blanketed weight. i always come back to the thought that God gives inland places those clouds in lieu of ocean--as a sounding board for spiritual reprieves and voiceless communication with God through the expanse. and there is history here. for holly and me. a good, solid trail of wholesome memories. if it weren't for the new wal-mart on the side of the road, we might as well be driving into the past.
omi and monty were still up waiting for us at graham central. they have trained their kids to be able to fall asleep anywhere, and the two were both sleeping on the couch as content as little bugs while their parents watched tv. it must have been about 11 or 11:30, and both of the little ones woke up when we made our entrance. sparrow and danielle quickly warmed up to each other and started running around like dear friends. when we brought out the presents we'd brought for them, sparrow thought the present was hers to open and tore right into it--again! she had already demolished the wrapping of one of them this morning right before we were to start driving, and i was left to re-wrap it at the last minute... anyhow, it was beautiful to walk into the peacefulness of this long-established and familiar home with old friends waiting like no time had passed, and i fell asleep in annie's old room with my daughters to the comforting sounds of omi, monty, and holly talking and laughing into the wee hours.
monday
getting up in the morning and finding mrs. graham sitting by her fireplace sipping her homemade latte and reading a huge bible was just the perfect start to the week. she was the same as ever, a chipper, matter-of-fact, chatty mrs. graham who would do anything for you despite her sharp tongue. we got along quite well.
it was our day to hang out with na. NA! the elusive cyprian! i am sooooooo glad that i was able to make my visit to tucson coincide with even the very tail end of hers. i think God knew this is why i was supposed to miss the reunion. so i could spend a little time with na. and she was so gracious, she spent all day long with us, from breakfast at the grahams, to going shopping at trader joe's to making sandwiches to starbucks with mama moe's and beyond. driving in the car with her, talking about labor and hospitals, showing ashraf how to do the double hip squeeze ("it kinda hurts!" -na)...that's na and no one else is like her. thoughtful, curious, original, encouraging, easy-going... it was gorgeous just being with her and her "gollum" belly in that bright yellow shirt and the quiet glow about her. i miss her a lot.
sparrow and danielle were hilarious together, pushing tiny shopping carts, staring at the tv while eating their dinner side by side, grabbing milks at starbucks and ramming straws into them before anyone had said they could have any. they were also running around starbucks and shrieking and hiding to the point where the staff was i am sure mightily relieved when we finally left their establishment! we were there for at least 2 hours with mama moe, and golden had her crying moments too. too bad she already has separation anxiety (started around 4 months--super early, as dr. vic confirmed) because it is ineffective most of the time to have someone else hold her! that storchenwiege wrap is a mother's best friend.
that evening, after bidding farewell to the abdous, omi, monty, holly and i stayed up and watched a couple episodes of "psych" and talking and being good old friends in a good old neighborhood.
tuesday
do i remember what happened? not really... we hung out at grahams all day long and chilled. always a good time. we popped over to pam tuggy's for a visit in the AM. i had thought about staying there with holly, but graham central made more sense in my head. and it worked out just great. pam is such a sweet lady, though. she keeps tabls on what's going on with people, so it's lots of fun. we played outside with the kids in the afternoon, and made pizza for dinner. i love this family stuff. emi and jonathan came over! she is so beautiful. i still can't believe she is a married woman now, something in me just still thinks of her as little emily, my friend's baby sister... sparrow and danielle stopped liking each other so well when they realized they had to share toys all the time. sparrow began hovering over her food when she would get something and say "danielle can't have this." i was a bit at a loss on how to properly deal with such an attitude. i'd like to let them hash it out for themselves. but are they too young for that? after dinner holly and i took off to go to blockbuster and get "SNL best of will ferrell vol. 1"--one of my favorite dvds ever! and ice cream. can't forget the ice cream when you're on vacation. unkie even came over to hang out with us. mr. and mrs. graham are so chill to let us stay in their house and be all loud til the cows come home.
wednesday
omi and i took the girls to gymnastics in the morning, which was really fun. danielle pranced around like an expert in her pale blue gymnastics leotard with the tiny skirt, and sparrow learned how to do a "roll" (somersault)...and to follow directions. she still exhibits her donkey-kick skills rather frequently now, several weeks later. the gymnastics school was awesome. it is called "trinity" and is obviously christian. they pray with the kids at the end of every class! without fear or shame. i love that. they also have a ballet studio and teach dance as well as art. so cool! david and golden, by the way, were super cute sitting side by side in their car seats watching as omi and i participated in the moms-and-kids gymnastics. golden hadn't even nursed that morning, but you wouldn't know it. for her, if there's anything interesting going on around, it trumps the need to feed. she is happy if she gets to see new and exciting things like children doing donkey kicks. emi is one of the gymnastics teachers, by the way. i am totally stumped by tucson. on the one hand, the class was about a 40-minute drive away, something we in santa barbara would never have to deal with. but on the other hand, it somehow seems like making a living in tucson is so...easy. lots of space+ cheap real estate+ sprawling metro area= thriving christian gymnastics studio. so here is emi making $15/hour, almost full-time, for directing little children in gymnastics. she has a christian boss and co-workers. hello! this is a no-brainer! we have GOT to move there! ...then i remember that my brain is wired completely differently than my husband's and he is actually the one supposed to be leading the family. hm. i was inspired nonetheless and left him a message on his phone!
coming back from gymnastics, we met julia and her brood who were visiting grandma. wow, 4 big children, elizabeth is 10! and i remember before julia was engaged! that is crazy stuff right there.
i was bushed out of my mind that afternoon. we were supposed to go to a birthday party for david that evening, who was turning one, and we went over to omi's house for a bit to try to help prepare. but i was so out of it and tired that i took the girls and left, cause all the kids together were making me super crazy. i didn't know where i was going, but i had to get out. it was raining. i didn't feel better til i went to starbucks and got a double espresso. there we go. then we drove back and i functioned normally for the rest of the night. mr. and mrs. graham came too.
we had a delicious taco dinner and yellow ducky cake, and then had a dance party in the living room. which was really fun! we bounced around with the youngsters while holly deejayed for us. david is soooooooooo cute, by the way. i had never met him before this trip, and he is this precious, cuddly lovey. he takes strongly after his grandpa tim, too, which is so fun for me to see. i have always liked mr. graham.
then monty and omi convinced me to put my little ones to bed at their house while we stayed over and watched notting hill, one of holly's and my classic favorites. that's one thing that is so cool about monty. well it counts as two, i guess: 1) he likes omi's friends and makes it clear. 2) he is always up for hanging out even though he has to work like any normal man. he is really easy-going and super helpful. i was coming up with excuses about why to go back to grahams, and monty dashed them all. "i have to put her to bed." "so? put her in danielle's bed." "well where will danielle sleep?" "we can put them in our bed for now." (golden was already in davey's crib.) "i have to brush sparrow's teeth." "so? we have toothbrushes!" i dashed back to grahams to get some bedtime stuff for sparrow, but i am so glad i stayed over and stayed up with my friends. vacation doesn't happen that often! snuggled up with holly in the rocky couch laughing our heads off about the deleted scenes' most awkward lady ever! "oh right! SO-RY! like somoeone scooped my brains out with a great big spoon!" what could be cozier?
thursday
it rained again and we stayed in all day. it was emi's day off, so she came over and hung out with us. she sang some songs for us. the kids had plenty to do. i knew they would feel comfortable at graham central when i envisioned this trip. "grandma" susie has a bunch of grandchildren who live close by, so she has a huge toy trunk right in the main room. sparrow never even got to the bottom of it.
we took a little jaunt down to grandma mumma's house. she lives super close by now and is 99 years old! i remember her from when i was in middle school, when she lived in a little trailer on the graham's property with her amazingly sweet husband. she is omi's great-grandma, on her dad's side. this means she is danielle's great-great-grandma! truly amazing, and she is still sharp! it took her a bit to recognize me, but once i told her my name, she knew exactly who i was and was such sweet company. she wears a super thin gold band on her finger which is her wedding ring that she has never taken off in EIGHTY years! that is 3 of my lifetimes! and the ring used to be about the size of mine, but it is gold, and it has just been worn and worn to this little thread, by grace mumma the loving wife. wow.
in the afternoon we drove down to my old house! to visit mrs. fodey, who had one of my old dolls. i had gotten a little depressed at the thought of the house earlier when the graham's were talking about it and how beautiful the fodeys had made it. but the visit was good, mrs. fodey is a sweet lady. i got to take pictures of sparrow in front of the cupboards my mom painted back in the day. i was amazed that any of these cupboards were still in place. they had knocked out the counter between the kitchen and dining area, but i was still super amazed at how SMALL the whole place seemed to me! especially since i DID live in the house when i was fully grown, why is it that i remember it as larger!?? even the lawn seemed tiny, it was so odd! plus sparrow kept accidentally calling marilyn frodo. when sparrow picked off pieces of the old doll's head and i reprimanded her a bit, she said, "frodo will fix it," which was just a hilarious linguistic accident, of course, because she has no idea about frodo baggins or any of that. but danielle and sparrow were running about in their pretty naartjie skirts eating marilyn's kumquats and playing her piano. truly a surreal experience.
that evening holly's aunt pam had invited us to dinner at her house. she had told us to invite everyone we wanted. so it was an awesome reunion at fred tuggy's with tortilla soup, jicama, avocado, and good company. i have always loved their octagonal house with the large play-loft. all 3 newbergs showed up! jonathan came too! and aunt pam's sister was there for a visit. the food was good, the flan was amazing, there was coffee and later we opened a bottle of wine. we played pool in the loft, and danielle and sparrow were getting along really well again. they were running around together all night, and playing bedtime together and reading stories with russ. meg is lovely. when she sat down next to me at dinner, she said, "so guess what i do for a living now? i teach fimo! and i always tell them about the german lady who would have us over and taught us how to do fimo." what?! that is so touching, inspiring, and shocking! it is amazing that she can make a living off of it, for one thing. she teaches art, too, and has several different venues around town where she teaches on different days. a lot of her clients are homeschoolers. so there you have it! there she is, doing what she loves, and experiencing a fulfilled existence, another success story chalked up to tucson's "ease." later i beat omi at pool, and the kids were all happy and independent... jonathan entertained golden as she chewed pieces of puzzle. i looked around at omi, emi, chris, holly, core people to my existence, and yet i barely talk to them at all in santa barbara! and how many times have i hung out with these people on sweltering tucson nights when it was just their creativity and laughter that preserved my sanity? when i see them, it is as if no time has passed. that is the bond of missionary kids. a past that is so unique and strong that it makes up for separate years, even decades.
friday
spent a lot of time at "home" again, as it was rainy. holly came over and we made pancakes, for it was her birthday! 27--such a nice age, and she is a live wire, firecracker, deep thinker, courageous role model, fun lover, and bona fide trooper. a jack of all trades. a gem to have encountered in this life. we had a mellow time, chatted and enjoyed our last day. dropped off the volvo to uncle fred that afternoon so he could go over it before tomorrow's ride home. this means holly and i got to drive through saddlebrooke and *admire* the changes/ reflect on how this settlement has affected our lives. omi and i took mr. graham's car to trader joe's later to buy some items for holly's birthday dinner! mrs. graham was so amazing and broke out with some chicken, rice, etc. and made a fabulous dish, pretty impromptu. she really must love us, after all! haha, no, i knew that all along. i have really loved her company. in the evening, friends began to arrive. we had lauren drive in from phoenix--thanks lauren! i haven't seen the girl since na's wedding! and chris and russ andeven jeremy and ann! sitting around the table sharing dinner and laughter with friends--what more do you need? we presented holly with a pair of white boots that we had bought online. sadly they were too big! but it was the only size they'd had. i had a feeling they were not quite on the money anyways, in terms of what she wanted. they looked different in the picture online, in my defense! she was so flattered and sweet, however. she will find something good to replace them with in these lean times, i am sure!
i couldn't believe that we all got convinced to go OUT after the dinner! lauren and holly had dressed to party and we wanted to do something for sure, but this is not LA, let me tell you. all we really needed was each other, though. hannah came over too, and joined us, and we ended up at some new-ish pub in oro valley: holly, lauren, chris, monty, omi, hannah, and i having mimosas, beers, and lemonades and much to laugh about til late. it was a bit nerve-wracking, i'll admit, leaving my babies to go party, but mrs. graham had offered to be there and let us leave all the kids with her "they'll be sleeping anyways, we'll pull them out of the house if there's a fire," she reassured me. i HOPED both sparrow and golden would stay asleep for the whole time i was out. otherwise, mrs. graham would be dealing with more than she reckoned for. and she can't nurse the babe, unfortunately.
the place closed after a short hour, and we stood around in the cold outside prolonging the magical laughter and banter for quite some time, then we all decided to go home. long day tomorrow! but it was a fun conclusion to a magical week.
saturday
the plan was to leave "around 10 or 11," so of course it was after 11. but that was mostly my fault cause i had a bunch of stuff to pack! i had insisted on bringing golden's pack-n-play just because i thought she's be more "at home" in it, only to find out she could fall asleep just as well in the crib in the room. i'm blessed she's so easy. mrs. graham had also given me a big bag of doll house items, which was absolutely awesome that she had saved them for me. that dollhouse sat in our pink room in our house for at least a decade, and there were a LOT of handmade (by my sister) food items, tiny books, dolls, and mini flower pots. as well as little blankets and mattresses and things she crafted for the dollhouse inhabitants. SO amazing. tiny little hamburgers, grapes, vases, super intricate stuff. i think i made one thing too: the skillet with a pile of scrambled stuff to go in it! hahaha you can tell by the way the handle is crooked, and the food is just a bunch of scraps thrown together! anyways... i digress. the point is, we got it all in the car and said our final goodbyes to omi and monty as they were heading off to attend a funeral, of all things. bye to mr. and mrs. graham too, and we headed off into the gorgeous blue.
in the middle of the desert between tucson and phoenix, i found out that holly had hopes i would drop her off in phoenix! wot! yes, apparently a BUNCH of her cousins were gathered in phoenix this very day to celebrate a baby shower for one of them, and she was gonna be able to get a ride back with her cousin from orange county. obviously she HAD to take the opportunity, there was no question, but it didn't stop me from being a bit selfish and freaked out, unfortunately. what on earth was i going to do with two babies by myself all the way to santa barbara? if i was driving, there was obviously no way i could be giving sparrow art supplies or pumping milk for golden. i would have to make a lot more, and a lot longer, stops. but heck. i am a good roadtripper who can handle long hours. all those denver-tucson hauls by myself trained me well! so i decided to make the most of it. i got to hang out a bit and rinse my breastpump in phoenix at the cousin's, and sparrow ran about playing with the youngest girl maliya, who had a beautiful toy kitchen and was so sweet! she stood out on the lawn waiting until we drove off so she could wave goodbye! they were prepping a baby shower fit for a queen over there, and holly jumped right in to help out. amazingness. once we said our fond goodbyes, therefore, i was on my own! just me and the girls with the wide west before us.
it was hot. and sunny. sparrow had the sun on her face, and i had used the baby blanket to block the window where golden was sleeping. thank God she was sleeping. but sparrow was hot and tired and whiny, and it was quite the sweat-fest until she did at last doze off, since there was nothing i could do. but i was sweating from the anxiety, not just the heat. about 45 minutes out of phoenix, golden woke up in the middle of nowhere. i drove on for awhile to see if she would fall back asleep, before finally pulling off onto a desolate road where there was a dirt clearing to park the car. two semi-trucks were also stationed nearby; i hoped their drivers were asleep. there was trash strewn about, and old mattress... basically, the type of scene that was perfect for a horrible situation to happen. it made me quite nervous. sparrow got out but soon found this was not a fun place to play, and decided to climb around on the passenger seat. golden would not nurse! it was amazing to me, since she hadn't nursed since before we left tucson. she was in a "new" place and so had to check everything out and "play" instead. after wasting close to an hour in this godforsaken spot, we drove on. i threw my hands up with golden. "you let me know when you're hungry, then." when she was truly hungry, she would eat. by now the shadows were getting longer and the air began to cool off. golden fell asleep again and sparrow got in a good mood and was fine company for a few hours. she looked out the window at the flat, flat desert stretch and said, "is that an ocean?" the approach to the cluster of mesas toward the border was amazing. the sun was again setting (we were here at sunset on the way over!) and there were unbelievably picturesque layers emerging in the ancient hues of that quiet, undisturbed monument. i decided to call leanne before the CA border, cause you can still drive and talk on the cell phone in AZ! woohoo! reached brent and then got cut off cause i was in a hilly pass.
the border between AZ and CA has always astounded me. nothing but dry crackly desert on the arizona side, but as soon as you pass into CA it is lush, green fields and palm trees. still desert, of course, but california has cultivated it. the land on both sides is the same. the culture is not.
well, i was in it for the long haul. it got dark and i began to plan my gas stop. there was nothing i wanted more right then than a huge latte to get me comfort and energy in one! every time i passed a little town, the girls would still be asleep. i would assess the distance to the next town: 45 miles, 60 miles, etc. and think, "i can make it!" i just thought it would NOT be worth it to wake them up if i didn't have an emergency... eventually i made it to indio. indio, california. there was an ENORMOUS, new-looking shopping center off the side of the road, but no gas station. i wasted another 1/2 hour or so driving around indio finding NO gas station and NO starbucks. what IS this place?! eventually i decided to just backtrack and make a stop at the shopping center for the kids' sake. then i had to choose between super target (which usually has starbucks!) and mcdonald's. of course i picked mcdonald's, so that sparrow could jump around for a bit. hey. their coffee is not THAT bad. so we did the mcd's and even got fries, but golden, again, would not nurse! we were in the play room, and when i tried to nurse her she would shriek and rip the nursing cover off so she could see the kids play! what a crazy baby. back on the road, i found a gas station off the next exit and nursed golden in the car. two miles further down the road, i saw it. the HUGE. DRIVE THRU. STARBUCKS. right after i had already bought mcdonald's coffee. sheesh. you really have to know where these places are in advance. something that kept reaffirming itself as the trip went on. mcdonalds is fine, but doesn't have the best oomph, evidently. after LA, i began to get massively knackered to the point where i thought i could NOT stay awake another second. i called holly but couldn't stay chatting for too long because my battery was running low and i wanted to have my phone in case of emergency, of course. so. now WHERE is a starbucks (or better yet a peets) between LA and SB? i couldn't find one. i pulled off at some town in between and drove around (i know it's here somewhere!) but had to settle for gas station coffee in the end! gas station! truly an abomination. 99cents of brown water. which i doused in artificial creamers in an attempt to make it palatable. well. it got us through the trip alive, so i guess i better not be too ungrateful. finally, about 11:40 (12:40 tucson time) we pulled into evergreen apartments and were met by thomas, lovely thomas. we all stayed up enjoying our togetherness for awhile. the first thing sparrow did was put on her fairy dress, hahahaha! and so the portal closed. travel to another place is surreal, magical. i felt a bit forlorn for a few days following, like i was thrown back into a stark reality... things are up in the air here. and it was gray. now that we are back in the swing of things i am immensely grateful for my life. and this large, square apartment (i call it the wolery) with its blank walls. potential is what it is.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
quotes from nov, dec.
"moses lost his pharaoh." 11-01 (watching 'the prince of egypt')
sp: "where's moses?"
me: "he's in heaven."
sp: "...and he's coming back!" 11-02
"when she gets older, she will have some teeth and eat it!" 11-02
sp: "you look like a roly-pop." (lolly pop)
me: "how do i look like a roly-pop?"
sp: "cause i'm gonna eat it!" 11-05
"when i get bigger, i'm gonna be a mommy and i'm gonna wear a wedding dress!" 11-05
(it's really cute in general that she thinks every long gown is called a wedding dress.)
(singing) "i got a mommy and i got a sister, i got a golden and i got a daddy toooooo... i got an aya and i got an uncle and i got everything i neeeeeeeeed." early nov.
11-19: we were reading a book about a normal kid going over to a rich kid's house for a sleep over. on the page where he enters the house, sparrow looks at the illustration and says, "well...this is uncle rod's." she remembered what uncle rod's house was like, i was amazed! the last time we had been there was in the summer.
"kay, here's what you do. you dip it, then you taste it, like this!" 11-03 (eating carrots or something, and talking to herself
"kay, i got some cheese and i cannot think about it, and i cannot pay money for it, and i cannot eat it!" 11-06
sp: "God always goes pee."
mom: "well, you know, He's in heaven, so He doesn't have to go pee. when Jesus was on earth, He did have to go pee, but now he's in heaven, so he doesn't have to."
sp: "but He's coming back!"
mom: "that's right, He is. And He is God, but God is with us all the time."
sp: "well, where is God's hair?"
mom: "we're gonna have to ask Him when we see Him, sparrow."
sp: "i'm gonna say, 'Jesus, can i borrow your hair?'" 11-08
"swan lake needs more money." 11-09
"we're going to parks class. would you like to come, God?" 11-10
"God is getting SO tall! and he will be able to play play doh, (thinks twice) ...he is with me when i play play-doh." 11-10
"God, you died on the cross!" 11-10
me: "your shoes are on the floor."
sp: "oh! i thought they were in the basket!" 11-10 (pretty good sentence structure for a pre-3!)
"i love my baby! i wanna name her spot! i wanna name her stripe!" 11-10 (golden was wearing a stripey onesie)
me: "come over here!"
sp: sticks her legs under her nightgown and says, "I don't have legs to walk!!" 11-16
me: "don't touch her eyes, that's very very dangerous."
sp: "that's very, very owie." 11-10
sp: "what's that?"
me: "it's the couch cushions. they're made out of corduroy."
sp: "no, they're made out of pillows." 11-10
(sparrow sitting on the toilet)
sp: "it splashed me!!"
me: "yeah, sometimes poopy can do that."
sp: "um...poopy splashes me ALL the time!" 11-11
"maybe next week we could get some money and then maybe we could go to trader joe's." 11-12
we had just come back from viewing the ocean at sunset and i was talking to sparrow about how the ocean was all pink and purple. she says,
"can the ocean be like a dress?" 11-13
"i will pray for lily and i will pray for asher, and we'll pray for bananas." 11-19
sp: "i'm eating the wind!"
me: "what does it taste like?"
sp: "it tastes like chicken. ...it tastes like vanilla." 11-21
sp: "are you doris?"
me: "yeah."
sp: "auntie christy calls you dodie." (how does she remember!?) 11-21
(going pee)
sp: "i like it! ...it's like rain!"
me: "your pee is like rain?"
(stops peeing)
sp: "the rain stopped!" 11-21
me: "do you want deck the halls, or joy to the world?"
sp: "i want duck to the holes." 11-24
"mom, is your scissors eating the leaf?" (i was cutting out a leaf for our thankfulness tree) 11-26
"look! the wall has a nose!" thanksgiving day 11-27 (putting a pointy object on the wall)
(borrow your hair! hahaha, but it's amazing, she does know the concept of borrowing. sometime in sept. or oct., we were going to the lomelino's and in the car i was all bummed when i realized i had forgotten Golden's pacifier. sparrow said, "you can borrow Hope's." and i did!)
"make sure it doesn't get dark so much." 11-22
one november day we saw an X on the sidewalk.
sp: "oh look! a cross!"
me: "ooh, what is a cross for?"
sp: "it's for God."
"some children are good and it makes God happy." 12-05
sp: "we're getting a kitty in two months."
me: "we can't get a kitty, daddy's allergic. do you know what allergic means?"
sp: "yeah."
liz koppa: "what does it mean?"
sp: "it means we can't get a kitty." 12-08
"dolphins don't have butts." 12-08
"they scampered along! and the little one is gonna scamper along!"
(bouncing carrots on her tray) 12-10
"mom, i'm eating a brown valise." 12-10
(she had no idea what a brown valise was, but she remembered the word from a book)
"God is with me when i'm washing my haaaaaaaiiiiiiiirrrr!" 12-09 (wailing in the tub. at least she knows God is with her at this *traumatic* time!)
"i began to fall down!" 12-13 (when she almost fell off a chair)
"is she gonna sleep for 20 minutes?" 12-14 (when i put golden down for her nap)
sparrow singing so accurately:
"you are beautiful my sweet, sweet song..." 12-15
"oh--we LOVE cardamom!" 12-15
(hearing me read a recipe aloud)
me: "sparrow, you're so observant! that means that you really look at things, and you see things, and you notice things..."
sp: "and i grab things!" 12-16
"the cars are going in time-out." 12-16
"a dog is not gonna eat us!" 12-16
" i saw a boy-lion in einstein!" 12-16 (she was referring to a baby einstein video)
"i'm cough-able." 12-17 (coughing, of course!)
"we live in january." 12-17
(holding a red candle)
"it's as red as a tomato!"
then, "mommy, remember not to eat it!" 12-19
"this soap is very smell-ful." 12-19
"YOU cut the banana. RIGHT NOW." 12-20
"i was eating an orange and i was watching the little prince of egypt!" 12-22
(telling me when she learned of hippos wanting to eat the baby moses basket.)
"mama, you smell like a wildebeest!" 12-26 (something she picked up from thomas!!)
sparrow was playing an alphabet game (god forbid) on a baby lap top. you were supposed to fill in the missing 1st letter in the word "moon." she looked at the image of the moon on the screen and said,
"it starts with goodnight!" 12-26
me: "do you have to go to the potty?"
sp: "no."
me: "then why are you clutching your bum?"
sp: "it means that i want to read a story." 12-26
(singing 'the lord is my shepherd, i'll walk with him always')
"always, always, i'll walk with camel ways!" 12-26
(we were looking at the lines in the sky created by airplanes and i wondered aloud if it was pollution that created the lines.)
sp: "wow, pollution! i love pollution!" 12-27
then she said, "that grass is named pollution." 12-27
"God pretects us! God pretects us in the cloud!" (we were driving to the beach and it was really foggy at the coast. we drove right into it and i told her we were going into a cloud. then she broke out with the "pre-tecting" heha, not protecting, mind you. then, since i always ask her in the car if the sun is in her eyes, she decided to let me know:
"the fog is in my eyes. I would like the fog to move." 12-31
"oh, there's a santa claus outside!" 12-31 (it was a bum with a white beard off the side of the road!)
sp: "where's moses?"
me: "he's in heaven."
sp: "...and he's coming back!" 11-02
"when she gets older, she will have some teeth and eat it!" 11-02
sp: "you look like a roly-pop." (lolly pop)
me: "how do i look like a roly-pop?"
sp: "cause i'm gonna eat it!" 11-05
"when i get bigger, i'm gonna be a mommy and i'm gonna wear a wedding dress!" 11-05
(it's really cute in general that she thinks every long gown is called a wedding dress.)
(singing) "i got a mommy and i got a sister, i got a golden and i got a daddy toooooo... i got an aya and i got an uncle and i got everything i neeeeeeeeed." early nov.
11-19: we were reading a book about a normal kid going over to a rich kid's house for a sleep over. on the page where he enters the house, sparrow looks at the illustration and says, "well...this is uncle rod's." she remembered what uncle rod's house was like, i was amazed! the last time we had been there was in the summer.
"kay, here's what you do. you dip it, then you taste it, like this!" 11-03 (eating carrots or something, and talking to herself
"kay, i got some cheese and i cannot think about it, and i cannot pay money for it, and i cannot eat it!" 11-06
sp: "God always goes pee."
mom: "well, you know, He's in heaven, so He doesn't have to go pee. when Jesus was on earth, He did have to go pee, but now he's in heaven, so he doesn't have to."
sp: "but He's coming back!"
mom: "that's right, He is. And He is God, but God is with us all the time."
sp: "well, where is God's hair?"
mom: "we're gonna have to ask Him when we see Him, sparrow."
sp: "i'm gonna say, 'Jesus, can i borrow your hair?'" 11-08
"swan lake needs more money." 11-09
"we're going to parks class. would you like to come, God?" 11-10
"God is getting SO tall! and he will be able to play play doh, (thinks twice) ...he is with me when i play play-doh." 11-10
"God, you died on the cross!" 11-10
me: "your shoes are on the floor."
sp: "oh! i thought they were in the basket!" 11-10 (pretty good sentence structure for a pre-3!)
"i love my baby! i wanna name her spot! i wanna name her stripe!" 11-10 (golden was wearing a stripey onesie)
me: "come over here!"
sp: sticks her legs under her nightgown and says, "I don't have legs to walk!!" 11-16
me: "don't touch her eyes, that's very very dangerous."
sp: "that's very, very owie." 11-10
sp: "what's that?"
me: "it's the couch cushions. they're made out of corduroy."
sp: "no, they're made out of pillows." 11-10
(sparrow sitting on the toilet)
sp: "it splashed me!!"
me: "yeah, sometimes poopy can do that."
sp: "um...poopy splashes me ALL the time!" 11-11
"maybe next week we could get some money and then maybe we could go to trader joe's." 11-12
we had just come back from viewing the ocean at sunset and i was talking to sparrow about how the ocean was all pink and purple. she says,
"can the ocean be like a dress?" 11-13
"i will pray for lily and i will pray for asher, and we'll pray for bananas." 11-19
sp: "i'm eating the wind!"
me: "what does it taste like?"
sp: "it tastes like chicken. ...it tastes like vanilla." 11-21
sp: "are you doris?"
me: "yeah."
sp: "auntie christy calls you dodie." (how does she remember!?) 11-21
(going pee)
sp: "i like it! ...it's like rain!"
me: "your pee is like rain?"
(stops peeing)
sp: "the rain stopped!" 11-21
me: "do you want deck the halls, or joy to the world?"
sp: "i want duck to the holes." 11-24
"mom, is your scissors eating the leaf?" (i was cutting out a leaf for our thankfulness tree) 11-26
"look! the wall has a nose!" thanksgiving day 11-27 (putting a pointy object on the wall)
(borrow your hair! hahaha, but it's amazing, she does know the concept of borrowing. sometime in sept. or oct., we were going to the lomelino's and in the car i was all bummed when i realized i had forgotten Golden's pacifier. sparrow said, "you can borrow Hope's." and i did!)
"make sure it doesn't get dark so much." 11-22
one november day we saw an X on the sidewalk.
sp: "oh look! a cross!"
me: "ooh, what is a cross for?"
sp: "it's for God."
"some children are good and it makes God happy." 12-05
sp: "we're getting a kitty in two months."
me: "we can't get a kitty, daddy's allergic. do you know what allergic means?"
sp: "yeah."
liz koppa: "what does it mean?"
sp: "it means we can't get a kitty." 12-08
"dolphins don't have butts." 12-08
"they scampered along! and the little one is gonna scamper along!"
(bouncing carrots on her tray) 12-10
"mom, i'm eating a brown valise." 12-10
(she had no idea what a brown valise was, but she remembered the word from a book)
"God is with me when i'm washing my haaaaaaaiiiiiiiirrrr!" 12-09 (wailing in the tub. at least she knows God is with her at this *traumatic* time!)
"i began to fall down!" 12-13 (when she almost fell off a chair)
"is she gonna sleep for 20 minutes?" 12-14 (when i put golden down for her nap)
sparrow singing so accurately:
"you are beautiful my sweet, sweet song..." 12-15
"oh--we LOVE cardamom!" 12-15
(hearing me read a recipe aloud)
me: "sparrow, you're so observant! that means that you really look at things, and you see things, and you notice things..."
sp: "and i grab things!" 12-16
"the cars are going in time-out." 12-16
"a dog is not gonna eat us!" 12-16
" i saw a boy-lion in einstein!" 12-16 (she was referring to a baby einstein video)
"i'm cough-able." 12-17 (coughing, of course!)
"we live in january." 12-17
(holding a red candle)
"it's as red as a tomato!"
then, "mommy, remember not to eat it!" 12-19
"this soap is very smell-ful." 12-19
"YOU cut the banana. RIGHT NOW." 12-20
"i was eating an orange and i was watching the little prince of egypt!" 12-22
(telling me when she learned of hippos wanting to eat the baby moses basket.)
"mama, you smell like a wildebeest!" 12-26 (something she picked up from thomas!!)
sparrow was playing an alphabet game (god forbid) on a baby lap top. you were supposed to fill in the missing 1st letter in the word "moon." she looked at the image of the moon on the screen and said,
"it starts with goodnight!" 12-26
me: "do you have to go to the potty?"
sp: "no."
me: "then why are you clutching your bum?"
sp: "it means that i want to read a story." 12-26
(singing 'the lord is my shepherd, i'll walk with him always')
"always, always, i'll walk with camel ways!" 12-26
(we were looking at the lines in the sky created by airplanes and i wondered aloud if it was pollution that created the lines.)
sp: "wow, pollution! i love pollution!" 12-27
then she said, "that grass is named pollution." 12-27
"God pretects us! God pretects us in the cloud!" (we were driving to the beach and it was really foggy at the coast. we drove right into it and i told her we were going into a cloud. then she broke out with the "pre-tecting" heha, not protecting, mind you. then, since i always ask her in the car if the sun is in her eyes, she decided to let me know:
"the fog is in my eyes. I would like the fog to move." 12-31
"oh, there's a santa claus outside!" 12-31 (it was a bum with a white beard off the side of the road!)
Saturday, December 27, 2008
prayer and wet socks
we were supposed to drive to tucson on christmas for the missionary-kid reunion, which we decided we were going to attend after all--just before the deadline to register. so i was immensely excited. i love planning trips, getting ready, talking about the fun times ahead, the anticipation of new things. now i would get to introduce thomas to a bunch of the kids i grew up with! and we would get to remember my childhood in mexico, and how formative that experience was to my life. i felt a grace to go. holly had sent us a check for gas money!--what a sweet christmas present!!! and i really felt that we were all going to get a boost on this journey. change of scenery, get out of the rut we have seemed to be in lately... we celebrated christmas a day early in high excitement, and drove down to san diego christmas day, to spend the night with friends, planning to travel on to tucson on the 26th.
sparrow had had a cold the week before. i was so happy that she had kicked it a few days before we were due to leave. but the day after her coughing stopped, she got a new little cough, a very little one, and i was SO worried. why are you coughing!?! thomas said it was nothing. but sure enough, the cough got worse and worse and by the 25th she was so ill that all she did was lie around all morning and shriek instead of talk. shrieking. all. day. i was really not inclined to cancel the trip because of a cold so we prayed for her and headed down to san diego anyways. i was of the opinion that 2 days in the car wasn't gonna hurt her too much. it would be either sitting around in the car or sitting around at home, right?
the shrieking, however, did not stop in the car or at our friends' house. i had just run out of elderberry syrup (powerful natural cold fighter), and of course all the stores were closed christmas day so i couldn't get her any. it just seemed to be getting worse and worse. i felt so bad for sam and judy that their christmas was getting overtaken by this high-pitched wail... we tried EVERYTHING to get sparrow to calm down. movie, milk, blanket and pillow, hot water bottle, back rub, mac and cheese, stories... we would ask her something: "do you want some mac and cheese?" (which judy had specially made for her) "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" or she would periodically just burst out into painfully loud cries. what have i done? by nighttime i was so scared that this was something serious--meningitis? should we take her to the emergency room? no. no. all they would do is give her tylenol after waiting around for hours. i knew how hospitals worked. and she had a cough. this was not meningitis, i told myself. just a cold. but i had never before seen her this way, even though she gets PLENTY of colds. we kept inquiring as to where she was hurting, and all we got out of her was "MY MOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!!" but her breathing was semi erratic and like shallow little contractions. other symptoms: fast-beating heart, lethargy, pallor, bad breath, high irritation. (she kept screaming at sam and judy's dog, poor pup.)
i sent out a text message to some friends asking for prayer because i didn't know what to do. i was ready to turn around and drive home that night. lauren, who is in naturopathic med school, responed to my text with the strangest treatment suggestion: put a pair of wet socks into the freezer, then put them on sparrow's feet. cover with dry socks. wrap the rest of her up so warm that she is sweating. leave the wet socks on all night, and they will be dry by morning. "knocks out most acute illnesses." thomas especially was QUITE sketched by this proposal, but i was desperate. sure, she would hate the wet socks. but she was hating life anyways, so might as well. so that is what we did to see what would happen. the night was awful, and golden wasn't doing so hot, either. she wasn't sick, but she knew she was in a strange place and had a hard time going to sleep. at one point i got off a brief phone call with holly and walked back into the room. sparrow was shrieking in the bed. golden was wailing in her pack n play. thomas was in the bed with a pillow over his head! he had given up. hahahaha...(i found out later that he was getting sick at that point too.)
i crawled into the little bed with my butt falling off and trying not to inhale sparrow's germs too much. crying, praying, i managed to doze off a few times and survive the night. the next morning we made our coffee and headed straight for home. sparrow's personality was back to its normal chatty self! wow. what a relief. she was still coughing, and we were exhausted. arizona was out of the question by then. she would have infected the other children anyways.
and that is the story of our family christmas trip 2008. bizarre! i was so disappointed to have missed the reunion. but as always, God knows best.
here's to prayer wet socks!
sparrow had had a cold the week before. i was so happy that she had kicked it a few days before we were due to leave. but the day after her coughing stopped, she got a new little cough, a very little one, and i was SO worried. why are you coughing!?! thomas said it was nothing. but sure enough, the cough got worse and worse and by the 25th she was so ill that all she did was lie around all morning and shriek instead of talk. shrieking. all. day. i was really not inclined to cancel the trip because of a cold so we prayed for her and headed down to san diego anyways. i was of the opinion that 2 days in the car wasn't gonna hurt her too much. it would be either sitting around in the car or sitting around at home, right?
the shrieking, however, did not stop in the car or at our friends' house. i had just run out of elderberry syrup (powerful natural cold fighter), and of course all the stores were closed christmas day so i couldn't get her any. it just seemed to be getting worse and worse. i felt so bad for sam and judy that their christmas was getting overtaken by this high-pitched wail... we tried EVERYTHING to get sparrow to calm down. movie, milk, blanket and pillow, hot water bottle, back rub, mac and cheese, stories... we would ask her something: "do you want some mac and cheese?" (which judy had specially made for her) "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" or she would periodically just burst out into painfully loud cries. what have i done? by nighttime i was so scared that this was something serious--meningitis? should we take her to the emergency room? no. no. all they would do is give her tylenol after waiting around for hours. i knew how hospitals worked. and she had a cough. this was not meningitis, i told myself. just a cold. but i had never before seen her this way, even though she gets PLENTY of colds. we kept inquiring as to where she was hurting, and all we got out of her was "MY MOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!!" but her breathing was semi erratic and like shallow little contractions. other symptoms: fast-beating heart, lethargy, pallor, bad breath, high irritation. (she kept screaming at sam and judy's dog, poor pup.)
i sent out a text message to some friends asking for prayer because i didn't know what to do. i was ready to turn around and drive home that night. lauren, who is in naturopathic med school, responed to my text with the strangest treatment suggestion: put a pair of wet socks into the freezer, then put them on sparrow's feet. cover with dry socks. wrap the rest of her up so warm that she is sweating. leave the wet socks on all night, and they will be dry by morning. "knocks out most acute illnesses." thomas especially was QUITE sketched by this proposal, but i was desperate. sure, she would hate the wet socks. but she was hating life anyways, so might as well. so that is what we did to see what would happen. the night was awful, and golden wasn't doing so hot, either. she wasn't sick, but she knew she was in a strange place and had a hard time going to sleep. at one point i got off a brief phone call with holly and walked back into the room. sparrow was shrieking in the bed. golden was wailing in her pack n play. thomas was in the bed with a pillow over his head! he had given up. hahahaha...(i found out later that he was getting sick at that point too.)
i crawled into the little bed with my butt falling off and trying not to inhale sparrow's germs too much. crying, praying, i managed to doze off a few times and survive the night. the next morning we made our coffee and headed straight for home. sparrow's personality was back to its normal chatty self! wow. what a relief. she was still coughing, and we were exhausted. arizona was out of the question by then. she would have infected the other children anyways.
and that is the story of our family christmas trip 2008. bizarre! i was so disappointed to have missed the reunion. but as always, God knows best.
here's to prayer wet socks!
christmas
christmas is so much more exciting with young children in the house. i love being the mom who gets to coordinate the christmas and advent activities, and create traditions and stimulate the excitement that the kids have for this day.
my mom was like that in our household growing up. she died when i was 15, and we tried to keep a semblance of christmas together for a year or two, but the magic had flown. i remember that first christmas; here's how my dad did presents: we all went on a shopping outing at some point in december. he gave us each $50 and told us to buy ourselves christmas presents, and to meet back in an hour. it was kinda fun, but it wasn't christmas. my mom had always known what to get that we would love, even though we never made christmas lists in our family. after a few years we didn't even bother setting up the tree anymore because we couldn't be bothered to take it back down again. i am so glad that it has all become fun for me again.
the other thing i grew up with in my family and plan to continue for my children is the lack of the santa claus fable. of course we knew "about" santa claus--how can you not these days--but my parents never made him out to be real, and i am grateful. people who grew up with the fable of s.c., for example, and then become christians, have the dilemma of what to do about santa, because they remember how magical it was to believe in him, and yet probably don't want their kids having that focus instead of Jesus. for me--not an issue at all, see? i didn't know what i was missing! christmas, let me tell you, is magical for a child, period. santa or no santa.
well every time december rolls around, i start singing christmas carols to sparrow in the car. i know she loves it when i do these things for her. this year she would ask for christmas songs at various times. like one night when she was going to bed. "can i have a christmas carol?" "ok," i said, "which one do you want? joy to the world, deck the halls, or silent night?" she said, "duck to the holes!" alright!
"duck to the holes with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, lala la laaaaaaa..."
another great christmas moment happened this year when we encountered our neighbor janny out in the parking lot one morning. she was wearing a sweater with houses, snow, snowman, etc. depicted on it. sparrow said, "is janny wearing a christmas sweater?"
me: "yeah!"
sp: "christmas lives in winter."
j: "and you live in warm weather."
sp: "no, i live in january!"
oh, naturally! i was half expecting her to say california.
it was a lovely christmas season. we did advent every night that we could manage it, including a wreath with candles, and a jesse tree with specific readings about jesus' ancestors, and crafts. i haven't got a lot of advent songs down yet, but christmas songs work just as well. i cut out a jesse tree out of paper grocery bags (the blank back side) and made up the crafts as we went along. i had gotten some suggestions for characters and their symbols from a website (abraham-star, boaz-sandal, etc.) but we improved the craft and method according to our materials and creativity. sparrow still asks for advent crafts, and the jesse tree looks so fun that i don't want to take it down!
we celebrated christmas eve and christmas a day early because we were supposed to be traveling on the 25th. it was all really fun, i made a nice dinner on our "christmas eve." and mince pies--vegetarian (the idea of sweet beef grosses me out)--which i had been really excited to try, but have concluded that a simple apple pie is more satisfying. and we read the nativity story and had good family times.
on our "christmas day" we had french toast, bacon (which i seem to never eat anymore but on christmas), sweet chicken apple sausage, and opened presents and packages from germany! these are my favorite nowadays. my sister sent a fabulous one, as did this woman erika motzkus, who was like a second mother to my mom. she never forgets us at christmas time, even though i bet it's been over 10 years since i've seen her. it's not christmas without the german chocolate. a friend had given me money to buy sparrow (and golden) christmas presents, so i had thought about it and ended up buying her s bunch of clothes, which she really needed. i had gotten a bit panicky about which gimmicky toys she would like best and then i remembered: she doesn't need more "stuff." she says she wants something but usually doesn't end up playing with things that much unless i am playing with her. what she needs is more focused time with me. that is what she'll remember. but i had the best time picking out clothes at naartjie. we had been praying for months for some long-sleeved shirts for sparrow, expecting them to show up at the doorstep, but this is how God provided for that. along with another friend who had asked us what she needed and bought shirts for her! her really special present was a pair of real ballet slippers. she had been confiscating golden's mary-jane socks and stretching/wearing them out, calling them her ballet slippers, so i thought it might be time she get some real ones. melissa had also found a kids' ballet bar and saved it for us. the other favorite was a pink suitcase/backpack with stuffed pig included, from uncle. and a pink princess blanket/pillowcase that i had found at ross several months earlier, and had saved for chritmas. as for golden, she didn't care that she didn't get much. the only year i can get away with that! but i wrapped for her a little stuffed dog and soft blankie that cybil had given me for golden's baby shower. and a blanket that larry and paula had handed down, that we hadn't used yet. basically, golden just wanted to eat the paper and curly ribbons. yeah!
we had several soups, as well as crackers with a cheese torta thing, dates, cuties, cookies, etc. set out to eat throughout the day. the soups was an idea from one of the MOPS ladies. she said her family never cooks big meals on christmas but has a variety of soups cause no one wants to be that busy in the kitchen all day long. what a brilliant suggestion. plus, it was really christmas eve for everyone else, so we were going to church in the evening. i think we should have church on christmas night every year. a great way to end christmas. and when the kids were in bed, i listened to christmas music and sipped mulled wine while i packed our things for arizona. too lovely, and the weather all cold outside. see, the kids brought the excitement back into this, but it lingers on even when i am by myself.
in our christmas (eve) finery
my mom was like that in our household growing up. she died when i was 15, and we tried to keep a semblance of christmas together for a year or two, but the magic had flown. i remember that first christmas; here's how my dad did presents: we all went on a shopping outing at some point in december. he gave us each $50 and told us to buy ourselves christmas presents, and to meet back in an hour. it was kinda fun, but it wasn't christmas. my mom had always known what to get that we would love, even though we never made christmas lists in our family. after a few years we didn't even bother setting up the tree anymore because we couldn't be bothered to take it back down again. i am so glad that it has all become fun for me again.
the other thing i grew up with in my family and plan to continue for my children is the lack of the santa claus fable. of course we knew "about" santa claus--how can you not these days--but my parents never made him out to be real, and i am grateful. people who grew up with the fable of s.c., for example, and then become christians, have the dilemma of what to do about santa, because they remember how magical it was to believe in him, and yet probably don't want their kids having that focus instead of Jesus. for me--not an issue at all, see? i didn't know what i was missing! christmas, let me tell you, is magical for a child, period. santa or no santa.
well every time december rolls around, i start singing christmas carols to sparrow in the car. i know she loves it when i do these things for her. this year she would ask for christmas songs at various times. like one night when she was going to bed. "can i have a christmas carol?" "ok," i said, "which one do you want? joy to the world, deck the halls, or silent night?" she said, "duck to the holes!" alright!
"duck to the holes with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, lala la laaaaaaa..."
another great christmas moment happened this year when we encountered our neighbor janny out in the parking lot one morning. she was wearing a sweater with houses, snow, snowman, etc. depicted on it. sparrow said, "is janny wearing a christmas sweater?"
me: "yeah!"
sp: "christmas lives in winter."
j: "and you live in warm weather."
sp: "no, i live in january!"
oh, naturally! i was half expecting her to say california.
it was a lovely christmas season. we did advent every night that we could manage it, including a wreath with candles, and a jesse tree with specific readings about jesus' ancestors, and crafts. i haven't got a lot of advent songs down yet, but christmas songs work just as well. i cut out a jesse tree out of paper grocery bags (the blank back side) and made up the crafts as we went along. i had gotten some suggestions for characters and their symbols from a website (abraham-star, boaz-sandal, etc.) but we improved the craft and method according to our materials and creativity. sparrow still asks for advent crafts, and the jesse tree looks so fun that i don't want to take it down!
we celebrated christmas eve and christmas a day early because we were supposed to be traveling on the 25th. it was all really fun, i made a nice dinner on our "christmas eve." and mince pies--vegetarian (the idea of sweet beef grosses me out)--which i had been really excited to try, but have concluded that a simple apple pie is more satisfying. and we read the nativity story and had good family times.
 |
| From december 08 |
 |
| From december 08 |
on our "christmas day" we had french toast, bacon (which i seem to never eat anymore but on christmas), sweet chicken apple sausage, and opened presents and packages from germany! these are my favorite nowadays. my sister sent a fabulous one, as did this woman erika motzkus, who was like a second mother to my mom. she never forgets us at christmas time, even though i bet it's been over 10 years since i've seen her. it's not christmas without the german chocolate. a friend had given me money to buy sparrow (and golden) christmas presents, so i had thought about it and ended up buying her s bunch of clothes, which she really needed. i had gotten a bit panicky about which gimmicky toys she would like best and then i remembered: she doesn't need more "stuff." she says she wants something but usually doesn't end up playing with things that much unless i am playing with her. what she needs is more focused time with me. that is what she'll remember. but i had the best time picking out clothes at naartjie. we had been praying for months for some long-sleeved shirts for sparrow, expecting them to show up at the doorstep, but this is how God provided for that. along with another friend who had asked us what she needed and bought shirts for her! her really special present was a pair of real ballet slippers. she had been confiscating golden's mary-jane socks and stretching/wearing them out, calling them her ballet slippers, so i thought it might be time she get some real ones. melissa had also found a kids' ballet bar and saved it for us. the other favorite was a pink suitcase/backpack with stuffed pig included, from uncle. and a pink princess blanket/pillowcase that i had found at ross several months earlier, and had saved for chritmas. as for golden, she didn't care that she didn't get much. the only year i can get away with that! but i wrapped for her a little stuffed dog and soft blankie that cybil had given me for golden's baby shower. and a blanket that larry and paula had handed down, that we hadn't used yet. basically, golden just wanted to eat the paper and curly ribbons. yeah!
we had several soups, as well as crackers with a cheese torta thing, dates, cuties, cookies, etc. set out to eat throughout the day. the soups was an idea from one of the MOPS ladies. she said her family never cooks big meals on christmas but has a variety of soups cause no one wants to be that busy in the kitchen all day long. what a brilliant suggestion. plus, it was really christmas eve for everyone else, so we were going to church in the evening. i think we should have church on christmas night every year. a great way to end christmas. and when the kids were in bed, i listened to christmas music and sipped mulled wine while i packed our things for arizona. too lovely, and the weather all cold outside. see, the kids brought the excitement back into this, but it lingers on even when i am by myself.
 |
| From december 08 |
 |
| From december 08 |
 |
| From december 08 |
 |
| From december 08 |
in our christmas (eve) finery
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