How We Came Here

This family is a sign and a wonder. It may seem a random surprise that we suddenly live in Virginia, after being jobless and "broke" for so long (though God always took care of us. Checks in the mail, etc. THANK you to those of you who let God use you to that end!) I can hardly believe it myself.  Coast to coast. I am happy to be near the ocean, even if I don't see it that often. My name, in Greek, means "the sea." So--crazy faith adventure--here we are, a dream fulfilled. I speak to this season, that it will be a tree of life for us, and all we come into contact with. A desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Fulfill that word, Lord!

"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain" (Psalm 127:1). It seemed sometimes over the past year as if Thomas were basking in the Lord too much, spending too much time praying and reading the Bible... People were telling him to get out there more, do a better job of getting a job. To try harder. And to get on welfare. I myself was even getting on that boat most days, the negative thoughts and words. They were speaking negativity over him. Speculating, and forgetting the way the Father sings over us with shouts of joy, how He deals with us. Through encouragement. Love hopes and believes all things, does it not? I repeated this over and over to myself in those months in California. Love believes all things. The people of North Coast Calvary Chapel was a huge breeze of life to us in that season. They were not repelled by our lack of work, our *many* children, our living situation, our needs. They were happy that we were glad to be there. They actively looked for work and housing with us. We could have spent a lifetime there.

One day, a few weeks before the deadline to move out of the housing in San Diego, I was lying in bed trying to nap, sinking into depths of emotion over our situation. I thought, "HOW is this going to work, Lord? I KNOW you are good, but I feel like maybe we have been unfaithful with our resources, and not applied wisdom principles to our life and finances, and maybe that's why this is not working out! Even if Thomas got a job today, we would NOT have enough money to pay for deposit/ first month's rent on an apartment, and we're going to be homeless! WHAT IS GOING ON??!!??" Suddenly, in my mind's eye, God gave me a vision of a person running through a paper wall. I understood at once what He was trying to tell me. That this seemingly insurmountable wall did not NEED to be surmounted. That it was only an illusion, and that though this situation seemed impossible from a human standpoint, it was nothing to God. We were to just RUN through it in faith. That gave me so much renewed courage!!! About two weeks after that, we got an email from the mother of a good friend from Santa Barbara. She owns an elder care facility in Virginia and was losing a couple of employees in July. She prefers to hire men and simply offered for Thomas to take a job with her! We had no idea how in the world we would afford to get there, but we both felt a resounding "YES," toward this!

The day after we decided to just go for it, despite not having the funds, said friends in Santa Barbara gave us a huge chunk of money toward that end, which covered the moving van and then some. AND our church in San Diego (North Coast Calvary Chapel) gave us the money for the airfare! It was simply astounding how God provided. The people who employed us worked so hard to get us settled, welcome us, make us feel at home. They give, they give, they give. They arranged it so the job would include room and board. This is above and beyond. This is so. Not. Normal. So we currently live here in the top floor of the elder care house; the lower floor is used for residents. There are three bedrooms downstairs and three residents, and another house and two more residents next door. Thomas works in both houses, taking care of the elderly residents and doing any other odd jobs they need him for. We will be the night managers of this home. I get to help with cooking, which I love! And  our children get to see the other end of life and have older generations around them. I think it is wonderful. We stand truly amazed!

God doesn't say, "try harder. You're going downhill! Do a better job! I'm worried about you!" God says, "Trust me. I love you. I am able. I want to give you all good things." He provided this job with no resume sent, no application filled out, and we got a place to live with no deposit or first months rent. Income can go toward paying off debts! You can't imagine how many times I thought over the past year, "how cool would it be if someone we knew who owned a business simply hired us?" I should have known. I should have contended for that, I should have been speaking that out the whole time! Instead, I was known to frequently cynically say, "You have to be the manager's nephew to get a job at McDonald's." ...HE was listening. I still. STILL! Have not grasped the discipline of directing my words toward positive things. Speaking truths, not cynicisms. ETERNAL truths, God's truths, what He wants to see realized, are ALWAYS good; there is always good truth to speak. Hope does not disappoint. AH, LORD! Come get in my face! Be in my face. All. Day. And may I live out of the spirit man. Nothing can shake this spirit man.

Late Night Musings

Sitting here again at 6 minutes to midnight, with all my dreams and thoughts and projects while my husband and little ones have REAL dreams in the room next door. Oh WHY do I get such a burst of energy after everyone else has gone to bed? Sigh... it really is my downfall: energized at night, knackered all day. Had to make my favorite vegan chocolate mousse and finish up some housework and wrap some presents and make a pinata--a PINATA! Home made! What am I thinking?!?!! As simple as I present myself to be, I really am not simple. I am a girl who likes frills and buttons and going all out--especially on the food--who has by default turned into a bit of a crunchy, pared-down sort of character. Put me in the same room with a whole bunch of money and you will see my true nature again. Hint: it's not minimalist.

This weekend we are having a party. It was going to be a Golden/Silas combo birthday party, but then I realized--hey, mine is coming up too--and there are probably just as many adults coming as children, so why don't we throw my birthday in the mix there too, eh? After all, who wants to plan aNOTHER party, when it's already so difficult to throw one, I feel like we have to inconvenience people in order to have a party, so just one is good, thank you. What's on the menu: Chicken nuggets, chickenless nuggets, tater tots. Ketchup. Grapes, green and champagne. Raw veggies. Hummus. Big ol' salad. Home made bread. Store bought artisan bread. Crackers. Cheeses. Prosciutto. Almonds. Sweet potato chips and blue corn tortilla chips. Tomatillo salsa. Vanilla cake with some sort of strawberry embellishment and a crazy cake topper. Vegan sugar-free carrot cake with vegan sugar-free frosting and a crazy cake topper. (using toys as cake toppers is one of my fave. time saving tricks for home made cakes. I'm not gonna do the billions of details in fondant. Just not gonna happen. I like the other food too much.) What else... vanilla ice cream. Sparkling pink lemonade. Sugar free raspberry lemonade. Two reds and a white. Sparkling water. Coffee. I think that's it! If I feel like we are short, I will add animal crackers and popcorn to the mix. But chances are we'll have a bunch of leftovers. Like always. I love parties. Is God good to us or WHAT?!

The condo where we are holding this party is rather small. I hope the children don't kill each other or ruin anything. The only activity I have planned for them is pinata hitting. In the teeny tiny backyard. And eating. Can you tell I am grateful to have the use of a kitchen? I plan to bake all day Saturday, cause the party is on Sunday. We go to church on Saturday nights now, and if it weren't such an awesome church, that God pointed out to us right away, it would be a lot more intolerable getting used to that kind of schedule. Thomas' days off are so random nowadays that our "Sabbath" is just whatever day he has off. That was today. He got lots of rest and a walk with a friend and a motorcycle ride. I got a 5-plus hour shopping trip. (The good news is that the shopping is DONE. If I forgot something, don't tell me.) I need the help of a village if I want to get a true Sabbath. Ah well. This moment is a pretty good one right here.

So would someone tell me how to decorate a pinata. ? How do you get those fun little tissue paper fringes on to the mache form? Tape? I have never made a pinata by myself before. It's been a long time since I've had a pinata making experience. Like 2 decades or more. I made this one with Elmers instead of home made flour paste. Hope it holds up. But not too well. You know what I mean. I am FAAK. Falling asleep at keyboard. SO I guess these musings and those fun little fringes will have to wait another day.

Let me just share that I had two good interludes with ladies at Trader Joe's today. Older women love to talk to me. One was a full quiver grandma who loves the Lord, the other was a lady who had lived in Mexico for a long time. God gives me these encouraging little respites, see? But remind me never to take these wiggly little girls out again. God love 'em, and I know it's my fault, but... we have a long way to go. More later. FTK! (That's For the Kingdom!!!)

Sayings of Summer

Alas! One of the traumatizing things that happened at the beginning of the month, was I LOST my little notebook on a shopping trip. The little notebook I call my "Second Brain." Because I write everything in it that I  want to remember! Information, directions, numbers, passwords, shopping lists, and children's quotes. Yes. So the month of June's precious thoughts are forever gone! I do remember one of them though:

Sp: "the last person to eat their egg, their egg will be rotten."  -June 20 (Hahahahaha! So glad I remembered that one!)

And on to July...

Dad: "Do you want milk?"
Golden nods her head. Dad pours milk into cereal.
G, reproachfully: "Hey! I was about to change my mind!" -July 2

Breakfast impromptu history lesson:
me: "So Washington had done such a good job leading the army that when it came time to choose a president, most people voted for Washington!"
Sp: "But one person voted for Obama." -July 2

Sp: "In a deep place of a mountain--there was a family of puppies--and some kitties. Then. They all got into a boat. To sail to Green Island..." -July 3

Sp: “Mom, I know!!! We should have Twenty-SIX kids! Cause then we could push through the crowd in our house!” -July 9

G: "Mom, pink is allergic to ants." -July 10

Sp: "Mom, I didn't sneeze, but that lady said 'Excuse you.'" O.o. -July 14

After hearing a shoe commercial on Pandora, Golden, almost 4, proves their effectiveness:
G: "She said, 'Hey girls! These are adorable shoes! You can have some too!'" -July 19
(She copied the perky voice and everything--anyone wonder WHY I despise commercials?)

G: "Hey! I don't have a spork or a foon!" -July 18

me: "Hey! You look like the Statue of Liberty!"
Sp: "Except I'm not holding an ice cream." -July 19

Sweet moment: Golden and Silas snuggling and sucking each other's thumbs! -July 19

Golden, crying because Sparrow and her friend are running faster: "They are the fastest runners in ALL the planet." -July 21


Sparrow, looking at three consecutive holes in her leggings: “Look at my leggings! It looks like a picture of someone thinking!” -July 21

Sp: "How long is a year?"
me: "It's 365 days--it's how long it takes the earth to go around the sun one time."
Sp: "But--I wonder why the years and days are so short--I mean--they're so close together!" -July 23

G: "Hankee Doodle was riding on a horse, into town, stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni!"  -July 27 (she's a concept person, LOL)

Golden, handing me the egg yolk: "I don't like the yoga." -July 30

Sp: "When the Israelites made a god on a little gold stool thingy, they didn't make it QUITE high enough. Our God--when you can see Him--is WAY higher than that." -July 31

The Pippa Story--II

After the Bright child was birthed, she was placed on my tummy and we examined her with glee and relief. Thomas cut the cord--they routinely wait until it has stopped pulsing--and she stayed with me for a long long time before they weighed her or anything! In fact, they never gave her a bath the whole time we were there! Amazing! Though they did wash her hair... It was thankfully an extremely clean birth. I didn't even have any water breaking. To this day, we still do not know what on earth happened to my bag of waters! Anyway, out came the placenta a few minutes later. And that is still in the freezer, thanks to our doula who ran out right away to get us an ice box from the store since we had forgotten one. I would love to encapsulate it again, but to dehydrate it I suppose I will have to wait til we move and I can get my toaster oven back.... Not to mention the roommate factor--nobody wants to deal with watching a placenta butchered in their kitchen.

So there she was! One minute in, next minute out. The miracle of birth is truly earth shattering. How anyone can chalk it up to evolution is beyond me. It all works so perfectly! And it always gives me such delight to see the baby we've been waiting for--who's been with us all these months, and yet we didn't know her. We'd felt her little heels, the roundness of her body, the hard head--through the rubber water balloon--but it was a mystery--what are you? Who are you? It was Pippa the whole time. Hah!

But rewind, because she wasn't yet named Pippa when she was born. We had spent so much time brainstorming a boy's name--because girl names are easy, right?--that we now found ourselves with a girl and--oops--not having settled on a girl name! My idea was to name her Olive if she came out with dark hair--I am asking you, what are the odds of having a black-haired husband and four blond-haired children? I love the Biblical symbolism for olives and olive trees. And yet, when she arrived, I was suddenly not so sure. Thomas seemed also not to have the strength of a resounding "YES" in his voice when I talked about that name, though he did say he liked it. Then I suggested Pippa. This name I had heard of long ago, and it recently came back to my attention and I just thought it was the cutest, happiest little name! At this idea Thomas brightened. And so did the postpartum nurse! She said, "Oh my goodness, seriously? When you started discussing what you should name her, I just had the thought, 'they should name her Pippa.'" I think that settled it for me right there; it was prophecy! But it would still take us until the next day to decide...

The nurse's name was Evangeline, too, (another one of my favorite names) and she was a Christian! She saw my Bible on the stand and then overheard something else we were saying, and she asked us finally if we were Christian, then confessed herself, "I love Jesus!" She was the dearest thing. She also was a Calvary Chapel girl, too, but she attended one closer to downtown. Thomas went off with Amanda to get me a Peets mocha =) This is becoming a post-birth tradition now. Sadly, I have perfected my coffee making at home to such a degree that I can hardly appreciate even a Peets mocha anymore! Dread. Thomas went home soon after this and I was eventually moved to a shared room with another postpartum mom, whom I hardly saw at all before curtains were drawn. I think she had had a C-section. I had been told I would eventually be moved up to the birth center-- but alas, it never did happen. So while I was a bit longing for the nice double beds up there, I had no reason to complain.

I nursed my baby, had my lunch, etc. and before I knew it, Thomas was arriving again for a visit with the children! They all busted in, disheveled, half in pajamas, hair unkempt, (OH the things that fathers may neglect to do! ...But the important things do get done: spending time with them, training them up, loving them, playing with them, and praying with them!) and fell upon their new little sister like a horde of hungry javelinas!  They were all instantly IN LOVE. Even Silas! Oh my--the way he kissed and licked her and cooed "Baba, ...baba" over and over again. My poor husband was tired and not feeling well, so I told him he could lie down in the bed and I would move to a chair. He was dozing within minutes. There I was with my delicate situation and three children bouncing around the (shared!) room and climbing on any available furniture... fortunately a nurse noticed my plight. Her name was Liberty. And she gave me some liberty, alright! She ever so delicately pointed out that my children were energetic and encouragingly said, "Let's move you to another room! One just opened up down the hall." She bustled us down there, had other nurses grab all our stuff, and settled us in. She was SO sweet about Thomas and said with a wink, "We'll just let him keep sleeping until we need the room, ok?" Then she turned on the tv for my children and went away, coming back with about 18 packets of graham crackers and mini cartons of milk, which my children fell upon ravenously. Dinner is served! What a nurse!

All the nurses were wonderful. There was one the following day whose name was Karen, who was the chattiest thing you ever met, but in a good way! She asked me a LOT of questions, about my life and mothering and Christianity, even, just because she cared to know. My friend Melody has that skill as well, (the questions/caring combo) and it is rare. Haha, when we still hadn't settled on a name, Karen heard the baby scream and said, "you should call her Piper! Hahaha!" Little did she know we were considering Pippa, which is practically the same! I had a lot of time to research the name while I was at the hospital, and loved what the Holy Spirit was showing me. He reminded me that Philip the evangelist had particularly been impressed upon my heart in my study of the book of Acts a few weeks prior, what with his table-serving skills, evangelism skills, and then being teleported on top of all that. =) (Pippa derives from Philippa, which comes, of course, from Philip.) And the book of Philippians is also special and dear to my heart for family. I'd memorized chapter 2 last year. This would be her book. Then there came the issue of the middle name, and God gave us "Bright" at the last minute, which we both liked. Thomas had been inspired by Foxes Book of Martyrs and had suggested all kinds of middle names from there, derived from Roman, Gaelic, etc. But we decided on a Roman one for her 2nd middle name, Octavia. Eight is Thomas' favorite number, not to mention the spiritual significances of the number 8. Fruitfulness and superabundance being two of them, but especially this--renewal. The season that was ushered in at her birth was promising renewal. We saw it with the eyes of faith. The world would say another child just adds to the downward spiral. God has a different vision and a different agenda. Will we accept what He says? Pippa Bright Octavia. A name for a little princess destined for big things.

May munchkin talk

G: “Mom, I missed my dream because it was fun and it was nice! It was about a nice cow and a nice moose and a nice lion and a nice sheep but they didn’t fight and the sheep was a princess in the castle.” –May 2

Sp: “Mom! As soon as you move, you just want to live in your old house again… I miss both houses I’ve lived in—and the womb.” –May 3

Sp: “I wanna get a limo, mama. Cause we’re gonna have 20 children—if they’re all good—and we can’t fit them all in this car.” –May 4

Golden, singing to Pippa:

“I will give you milk

And I will use your brain

And you are faith-doodle-bug

And you are called blubbery

You can lead the way…” –May 4

G: “Mommy, I can’t move my arms cause my armpits hurt.” –May 4

Sp: “Mommy, why is Daddy sleeping in the morning?”

Me: “Because he goes to bed late and gets up early. He takes naps cause he doesn’t sleep that much at night.”

Sp: “So…he’s like animals?” –May 8

Me: “These fleas are evil!”

G: “And you hate them.”

Sp: “Well, we don’t like the fleas, but they are God’s creation.”

Me: “Yes, they are. I don’t know why He made fleas though.”

Sp: “Because He’s God and sometimes He has secrets.” –May 8

G, waving a piece of paper: “I’ve got good news! It’s here in my hand!”

Me: “Oh good! What’s the good news?”

G: “Our house is on fire—and we have to run away to a castle.” –May 9

Golden, commenting on a nice playground: “No wild things here—no bobcats or robbers.” –May 12

G: “Mom, I wanna be big right now and go up to heaven and have fun. I can’t wait to see if it’s beautiful.” –May 12

 (Talking to my husband about onomatopoeia)

Me: “It’s a word that sounds like the sound it describes.”

T: “Like what?”

Me: “Tinkle. Or crackle.”

T: “What about pee?”

Me: “No… but poop is probably one.” (Thomas laughing at this point)

T: “What about butt?”

Me: “Butts don’t make sounds.”

(both laughing suuuuuuuuper hard)

T (crying-laughing): “Yes they doooooooo!” –May 18

G: “Mom, when you say ‘I doubt it,’ it means that I want to eat a cloud.” –May 12

(A  little confused from all our readalouds/ family devotion times)

Golden, giggling: “Daddy was reading the book of John, and he said ‘Mr. Thornbutt’ a lot of times!” –May 21

G: “Thank you Lord for this day, and that we would like for Daddy to get a job, and that we had a good day, and that we could rent this house and get a dog and a cat. Amen.”  -May 28

(playing with Golden, Sparrow makes up an imaginary address)
Sp: “Let’s go to Africania, Sixty-O house, and Hermie street.”  -May 20

(talking about fake online names)

Sp: “I’m Cherry, and Golden is Strawberry. Mom, you can be Coffee Girl.”

G: “And Daddy will be the guy who drinks the coffee and eats the strawberry and the cherry!” –May 20

Sp: “I’m gonna sit down and eat this big humiliated chicken.” –May 27

G: “My eye hurted in the night and Mama put Pippa’s nu-nu milk in it.”

Sp: “Did it hurt?”

G: “No.”

Sp: “What did it feel like?”

G: “It feeled like a cloud.” –May 27

Sparrow seriously and patiently explaining to Golden:

Sp: “A brain burn is when you eat hot food too fast.”

G:  “Yeah and it burned my tongue too.” –May 27

Sp: “Mama, I wanna play funly, and Golden isn’t making this game really all that fun.” –May 28

Me: “You put your pants on backwards.”

G: “Oh. Well can you help me not put them on backwards?” –May 28

Daddy was moving sleeping Golden, who had been very tired and crying minutes before, to the bedroom.

Daddy: “Heavy!”

Sparrow: “She’s lots heavy when she has a bunch of tears in her tummy.” –May 31

Daddy: “If we didn’t have Jesus, who would we go to? What would we move toward?”

Golden: “We would move to Temecula.” –May 31

 

BOY WANTED

This "want ad" appeared in the early part of [the 20th] century.

WANTED - A boy that stands straight, sits straight, acts straight, and talks straight;
A boy whose fingernails are not in mourning, whose ears are clean, whose shoes are polished, whose clothes are brushed, whose hair is combed, and whose teeth are well cared for;
A boy who listens carefully when he is spoken to, who asks questions when he does not understand, and does not ask questions about things that are none of his business;
A boy that moves quickly and makes as little noise about it as possible;
A boy who whistles in the street, but does not whistle where he ought keep still;
A boy who looks cheerful, has a ready smile for everybody, and never sulks;
A boy who is polite to every man and respectful to every woman and girl;
A boy who does not smoke cigarettes and has no desire to learn how;
A boy who is more eager to know how to speak good English than to talk slang;
A boy that never bullies other boys nor allows other boys to bully him;
A boy who, when he does not know a thing says, "I don’t know," and when has made a mistake says "I’m sorry," and when he is asked to do a thing says "I’ll try";
A boy who looks you right in the eye and tells the truth every time;
A boy who is eager to read good books;
A boy who would rather put in his spare time at the YMCA gymnasium than to gamble for pennies in a back room;
A boy who does not want to be "smart" nor in any wise attract attention;
A boy who would rather lose his job or be expelled from school than to tell a lie or be a cad;
A boy whom other boys like;
A boy who is at ease in the company of girls;
A boy who is not sorry for himself, and not forever thinking and talking about himself;
A boy who is friendly with his mother, and more intimate with her than anyone else;
A boy who makes you feel good when he is around;
A boy who is not a goody-goody, a prig, or a little pharisee, but just healthy, happy, and full of life;
This boy is wanted everywhere. The family wants him, the school wants him, the office wants him, the boys want him, the girls want him, all creation wants him.

Source unknown
Quoted in The Children's Book of Virtues
by William J. Bennet

******************************************************************************************************************
Lord, give me wisdom to raise this son of mine, and to turn his heart toward You!

April Quotes

Sparrow is six, Golden is three and two-thirds...

G, after a pee accident: "I really don't wanna get potty trained."
me: "What's potty trained?"
G: "Going potty."
me: "You never wanna go potty again?"
G: "Never pee and never poop."
me: "Well, in heaven we won't have to pee or poop."
G: "I really wanna go up." -April 9

Sp: "I wanna go to GOD-world!" -April 10 (after much thinking about Disneyland, Sea-world, etc.)

G: "I'm really serious. I'm really DUPER serious." -April 10

G: "Nonsense!"
me: "Do you know what that means, nonsense? It's from "non" which means no, and "sense." It makes no sense!"
G: "Well if somebody doesn't have a nose, then they can't smell. That's non-scents." -April 10

G: "Mommy, whenever you drink coffee, it makes me wanna go peepee." -Apr. 21

G: "I had a dream of a poky monster. And he did do bad things to me. And I usually wanted to go back out." ...then later..."Mom, the poky monster was scratching up my nose. And it really hurted. He had sharp claws." -April 21

G: "I had a dream about sparkle warkle unicorn city. And there was pink and rainbow-colored birds in the sky, and they were singing nice songs about unicorns. About not die. And they were singing and singing and their breath was getting tired." -April 23

me: "You can't attach the rope to the pulleys first. The pulleys need to wait, they are just an in-between place."
G: "The pulleys need to get in the patience of God." -Apr. 24

me: "When I was little, my friends and I made up a language. And we wrote a dictionary so we could say what each word meant."
Sp: "...And when you wanted to talk to each other in your language, you would just look in your dictionary!"
G: "Yeah--and if you put a dictionary on your chair, you will sit higher." -Apr. 25

G, praying: "...And that Daddy will get a job. Amen. I prayed for that twice. I mean TWO TIMES." -Apr. 25

G: "Mom, I'm a doula. You can be a doula too."
me: Oh yeah, what's a doula?"
G: "It makes a crazy sound and then it turns bad and then it grows up. It can eat you. And it's a monster. A doula is a javelina. It's a bad pig." -Apr. 27

Sp: "I went as DOWN as I could, cause I was a worm-dragon, and then I found the lava place." -Apr. 30

Near accident in the middle of the night, but Golden woke up and I helped her in the bathroom. I told her afterward, since her panties were a little wet, to put new ones on. She wasn't into that, and didn't skip a beat in informing me:
"I LOVE wet panties!" -Apr. 31